Posts Tagged ‘snarky’

I Can Do Anything….

Monday, August 1st, 2016

….but, NOT everything is beneficial. 1 Corinthians 10:23

You’ve probably heard this before, but…just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should.

That was the jist of yesterday’s message at church. Probably the most needed words I’ve had thrown my way lately. I’m guilty of jumping in with both feet to arguments that I don’t need to even show up for (especially, on social media).

I hate having such a passionate personality, sometimes.

Right now, I’m tensed up and tempted to jot down a response to what I think is utterly ridiculous on Facebook. But, I’m not. I’m so convicted by THE WORD God graciously allowed me to hear yesterday that I am putting my focus on what is better for me and the world I live in, instead.

I don’t have to show up for every argument. Neither do you.

Matter of fact, I don’t have to post snarky comments. I don’t have to push my VERY OPINIONATED comments onto anyone (I’m really sorry for stepping across any lines in the past that hurt or embarrassed anyone). Really. I am.

It seems that every social media avenue is laced with varied personalities: the religious pusher, the troll, the activist, the you must agree with me’ers, the angry political, the baiter’s (those who drop little nuggets to get you hot under the collar and run), the peacemaker, the raunchy dirty joker, the COMPLAINER, the perfect lifer, the hater, the inappropriate selfie photo’er, the education expert, the EX-whatever basher, the fight your personal battles online’er, the too much dirty laundry, the broken-hearted, the good news’er, the look at my successful lifer, the proud parent, the griever, the sickly, the fakes, the share button addicts, the hot button article poster, the instigator, the wishy-washy, the bragger, the see my success’er, the fashion addict, the partier/drinker/boozer, the positive attitude’er, the caught up in a time warp’er and just about everything in between….constantly in our faces.

It’s not good for us. It’s not good for our hearts, our minds or our joy. Controversial posts stir up something inside us that isn’t healthy. It turns us into people that look for trouble in a world that has enough trouble on its own.

Last night, I was out on a jeep drive with my family when we passed a police car all lit up down a country road. The first instinct was to yell, “Go back! I wanna see what’s happening!”. Until I thought about how foolish it is to seek out the terrible. Our society has slowly trained itself to focus on and seek out tragedy.

That’s why social media is so outlandish. It attracts the outspoken, it pulls in the weak and it lasso’s its power around what might be a good & tender heart but spits out just what the world is craving for, controversy.

I’m here to tell you….I’ve been a big fat voice of controversy. I have spoken my opinion loud and ugly. I’ve argued with friends, family and strangers. Ridiculously, argued or slammed down my opinion and left mad. Or ruined my own evening with the thoughts or frustrations of an online encounter.

Even with friends or people I love dearly. All because I disagreed with them on a topic or post. How foolish. How unfortunate.

I don’t want to be in that category anymore. I don’t want to see controversy and respond to it online. I don’t want to push hurtful or cruddy posts onto others.

I’m a believing follower of Jesus Christ. I want to act like it and show it in my speech, behavior and attitude.

argu

Look, I believe a person can post something online with a heart that wants to enlighten (but, will it?). It’s the attitude behind it that causes trouble. I know many people who post harsh statements or articles with the intention of forcing others to agree with them. It’s sad.

I’m not calling out any one friend (I promise) who posts “out there” stuff. I’m talking to myself just as much as anyone. I’m sick of Facebook. I’m sick of the political garbage. I’m sick of people hating others. I’m sick of online fights. I’m sick of meanness. I’m sick of holier than thou do gooders. I’m sick of feeling like junk after scrolling through my social media pages. I’m sick of myself.

your job is

I can’t do what God has called me to do if I’m finding fault with everyone and everything I see on social media. I can’t be the light, I can’t be the truth, I can’t be the child of God that leads others to HIM – when I’m plowing through social media with a fine-tooth comb and a loaded gun opinion.

I have to bow out of this habit of joining in and clicking share when I see something controversial or “thought provoking”. Not everything has to be shared.

stop posting

Here’s some questions FOR ME to ask MYSELF when I feel pulled to respond or argue on social media:

1) Is my opinion going to make an impact on those who read what I say?

2) Will my strong opinion HELP others grow?

3) Is this opinion in line with my convictions? Is it holy, Godly, Christ-like, loving, kind?

4) Would I say it (my strong opinion) to every face of the persons reading it online?

I pray, from here on out that I’m a more thoughtful friend and family member online and off. It’s not my job to shut down the jerks of the world. It is my job to worry about ME!!

God,
Your amazing love for me blows my mind. In spite of me, you still find me lovable and worthy. In spite of my popping off mouth or quick to judge attitude, you offer me grace. Thank you, God.
Amen.

Women, Be Nice

Wednesday, May 18th, 2016

pinky

I don’t know too many chicks (in this world) that haven’t experienced mean girls.

Mean girls make life miserable. In school, work and in every crevice of life. It’s like they hold some sort of banked up power and they know how to wield it over the less brazen of us. If you’ve ever been tormented by a mean girl and her posse then you know exactly what I’m talking about.

Mean girls smell fear. They usually pounce on the weakest little lamb and until someone intervenes or shuts them down they keep their focus solely on whatever victim they can dominate.

Mean girls love attention. Most of what a mean girl does in the form of torture to other girls is done for the attention of others. They are looking for anyone to catapult them to a higher level and ripping apart those weaker than them is a great way to elevate themselves.

Mean girls grow up. That’s right, they grow up and many times just turn into mean women. You know the kind….they play up to you, compete with you and talk about you behind your back. They may even be outright mean to your face!

Mean girls are never truly happy. I’ve said it before that hurting people hurt people. I’ve done my share of lashing out at people I love when I’m sad, mad, hormonal or hangry. It’s not completely the same but close. Unhappy people want to make other people unhappy.

Mean girls run in packs. Rarely is there a mean girl who reigns all by herself. She gets a lot of her power from her posse. Think back to school days, remember the gang?

Mean girls are created like you and me. The difference? Somewhere along the way, someone misled them into thinking that treating others like junk was acceptable. Then, as life carried them along…..NO ONE bothered to step in and put a lid on their bad behavior therefore creating the mean girl monster that solidified who they are.

So, why am I saying all this?

Because I want to remind women everywhere (all 7 of you reading) that being mean isn’t necessary. Neither is taking junk from meanies. If you find yourself in a circle of catty or snarky gals – find new friends. Women who mistreat other women are not friends you need or should associate with.

Oh and if you’re unable to come up with any mean girl friends….you might be one. How can you know?

Do you consider yourself a part of a clique?

Is your friend group exclusive? If so, that’s clique-ish. Avoid only hanging with certain friends. Instead be the kind of friend that says, “There YOU are!” when in the company of others instead of “Who’s that?”. (whisper whisper)

Do you struggle with envy? Most mean girls are very jealous in nature. If you find yourself always feeling jealous of other women, you might need to focus in on why. I like what Beth Moore says, “I’m not interested in competing with anyone – I hope WE ALL WIN!”.

Are you “appearance” focused? Do you pick your friends based on how they look or what they have to offer you? That’s a sure sign of something superficial inside you or me. Not everyone has the glam or cash to look fabulous – that doesn’t equal great friend either. Choose to see what GOD SEES in the people in your life. You’ll be surprised who your besties will be.

Do you find yourself in friendship troubles? If you’re avoiding a “good” friend or not speaking with someone….why? Is it you? Is it them? Is it chronic? There might be a problem and that problem may be you. Be a friend that loves at all times. (NOTE: Not a punching bag. Just a loyal kind of friend)

Does it give you a boost when you gossip about other women? Nobody ever looks good trying to make someone else look bad. It’s a sure way to tell if you’re a meanie. Listen to your own talk. Is it hateful? Is it full of criticism? Make a pact with yourself to only use PUT UPS and when you slip and use a put down, offer 2 put ups for every 1 put down. Got it?

Ex:

PD – Liza has a terrible personality!

PU – Liza is always willing to help out, no matter the job.
PU – Liza is a great friend and listens to my venting.

After practicing positive speaking, it becomes a good habit. Try it.

And last, Do you have issues with control? Most mean girls want to run the show. If that’s you, uh-ho! Knock it off. Step back, let someone else have input. You’re only making yourself seem pushy or bossy. Back off and listen more than speak.

It’s time to bee a friend that’s known for being nice, helpful and accepting. The world doesn’t need anymore mean girls or women.

Am I right?

good friends

Dirty Hearted

Wednesday, December 14th, 2011

I went to bed mad at everybody last night (and I’m not proud of it!). Why do families hurt each other so easily? It seems like I’m the target of teasing every night at the dinner table. Maybe it’s just the age my kids are right now, they can find a million reasons to make fun of me or criticize. It doesn’t help that I pretty much throw myself upon the sacrificial teasing table!

I’m an easy target! 🙁

It worries me that I’ve raised mean people. Sometimes, the snarky comments cut right to the bone. It’s a bad habit that I wish none of us ever started. I think we need a NICENESS INTERVENTION!

Psalm 51:10 “Create in me a pure heart O God and renew a right spirit within me”.

Today is a new day, right? So, I’m CHOOSING JOY! I’m not going to play the game of smart comments and sarcasm. Even little ones can sting!

Ephesians 4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who need it”.

Maybe you can relate to my situation today. The world is full of rotten behavior. As you see, even inside Christian homes. I like to think my family has a healthy fear of the Lord and respect for HIS righteousness in their lives. But even so, we fall short (especially when it comes to treating each other with love and respect). Our time together on this earth is limited. Why not use it to show one another the genuine love we feel instead of wounding with our careless words!?!

Lord,
I’m sorry for my careless words. I don’t want to hurt anyone with what comes out of my mouth. I’m guilty more often than I’d care to admit. I realize that what pours out of me is directly linked to my heart. Help me, make me more like YOU!
Amen