Posts Tagged ‘murder’

What Desperation Looks Like

Tuesday, June 28th, 2016

battliefield

This morning, I read the sad story about a Texas mother who shot her daughters to death and then was killed by police outside their home while she still held the gun in her hand.

What happened?

I know it’s the question every person speaks…but, why? Why would a person do this? Why would a mother who surely wiped their faces, dressed them in frilly little matching dresses and posted sweet pictures of them on Facebook murder her grown baby girls?

What was happening in her life to make her this desperate?

Was she angry? Had someone wronged her? The article mentions a family meeting. What outrageous behavior triggered such an egregious act from a seemingly loving faith-filled mother? How did they go from –> Girls clean your rooms to chasing them down with a handgun and shooting them to their death?

There is nothing but heartache in this story.

I’m no expert yet I know frustration and stress can make us do drastic things. But, not murder our children. This horrible act came from somewhere. Something was happening in this mama’s heart or mind. Something very dark, something very painful and I’m here to tell you it could happen to anybody.

The mind is a battlefield.

Sources have revealed this mother had struggled with mental illness. If you scroll through her Facebook page you’d see what appears to be a normal southern God-loving mama. A beautiful lady with a seemingly happy life and 2 gorgeous blonde daughters that were her mirror image.

So, why?

Why choose your husband’s birthday to go totally off the planet and kill your treasured brood? Her mind was sick. She was not okay. She was more than struggling with mental health, she was full-on desperately mentally unwell.

To you, I say….if you or someone you know is “struggling” with mental illness, do something! Don’t just hope they feel better or promise to pray for them. Do those things but act on the information you have as well. People that suffer with mental health issues need more than just a tender spot for their plight. They need genuine care and support that moves them into living the best and healthiest life possible.

Not every person with a mental disorder (and it’s more common than not in today’s world) kills the people they love.

That’s what desperation looks like.

** Curious to the various types of mental health?

Go HERE and familiarize yourself with the many facets of mental illnesses.

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Posted in Royal Proclaimations | 7 Comments »

Would He Love Me?

Friday, June 3rd, 2016

Greg Conway

Can you see someone you don’t even know and recognize them immediately?

That’s how I felt the moment I clicked on the link that led me to the man who fathered me over 49 years ago. I instantly knew he was part of me. I’ve gone back a hundred times to look at his face and every time, I see something else that’s familiar and me.

I never met him, this man, who was my father. I spent a lifetime wondering who I was and did I look like anyone other than my mother (whom I look very similar to).

fatherless

I don’t know who is to blame for never having met my father. But, all fingers point directly at my mother. After all, she is the one who raised me. In my heart, I don’t believe she did it to be cruel or neglectful…but in the end, it was both of those things.

poem

The decision to clip someone out of your life forever has to be a hard one. For every facial expression, skin tone, body type….she had to see something of him, in me. How’d she do it?

For most of my life, I never knew.

homesick

The person I thought was my dad, kindly fathered me out of his own powerful love. I thank him. And, I thank the step-dad who would come along later and love me into young adulthood. Neither of their sacrifice goes unnoticed.

Still, I feel a great loss of my real dad. I can’t help but wonder all the wonders that a mind can think of about such a relationship – – –

Did he want me?
Did he think of me?
Did he try to see me?
Did he care about me?
Did he punch his dashboard when she walked away?
Did he call her and try to reason with her (for my sake)?
Did he even know about me?

I’ve heard from my aunts that he was a terrific person. He was worthy and upright. He came from a good family. He had a great future ahead of him. Still, I will never know the magnitude of who he really was on this earth. I have no one to ask, no one to see and no one to call.

While I was somewhere across the state in all my high school freshman gawkiness….my dad, Gregory Conway was found shot to death sitting in his yellow corvette in a Kmart parking lot. I didn’t even know he existed.

His murder is still unsolved.

How do I reconcile never knowing him? For me, I have to turn directly to God for that answer. What was once kept in secret is no longer hidden. Both of my parents are dead now and I’m left with so many unanswered questions. Maybe that’s exactly how it was supposed to be.

Still, I wonder….would he love me?

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Posted in Royal Proclaimations | 4 Comments »