Posts Tagged ‘trust God’

Time For An Upgrade

Thursday, September 13th, 2018

A few years ago, I dropped a very hot curling iron on my arm while doing my hair. The contact was quick but the lasting scar is still with me today. Everytime I wear short sleeves or a swimsuit, there’s that ugly large barrel burn on my upper arm. It boldly sticks out and there’s no hiding it without wearing 3/4 length sleeves or longer. My hubby hates it. Not because it’s ugly (which it is) but because it reminds him that something hurt me and he couldn’t do anything to prevent it.

I have scars elsewhere too. Some of them have scabbed over and others are still festered and raw. These are the scars on my heart. I’ve tried healing them up on my own but that’s impossible. Only God can soothe and repair the scars from hurt & disappointment. His love, mercy and grace are like a healing ointment to every ugly scar I carry.

If you’re a breathing human here on the earth, you’ve fought some battles too. Heartache, loss, brokenness, illness, stress…the stuff that knocks us down and tries to destroy us all play a huge role in our faith. For many, these are the things that send them running to the cross and yet, some just fall deeper into a hole.

My journey the last 2 years taught me so many good faith lessons. I admit, I wanted to give up (in my head) so many times. I just couldn’t do it, though. Something kept me going, well… a lot of things kept me going. My faith was stretched so big that even I couldn’t believe it was mine. I’m a worm in comparison to many in faith in Christ. I’m weak and I’m flighty. I tend to throw my proverbial crap down and cry NOOOOOOOO MORE! I can’t take anymore! (ask my kids or hubby) The Lord must really enjoy my drama! Or is that just more of his mercy?

I don’t have what it takes (on my own) to pound down the tragedies of life. I require help. Maybe you do too. When I’m at my weakest, God has shown up for me and pointed me back to His love and grace over my life. He is always working. He is always waiting for me to seek Him out and follow His lead.

I needed an upgraded faith.

The only way my heart will ever heal is through thankfulness. I’m thankful for all the ways God came through for me and continues to do today. His plan for my life is still unfolding and I’m blessed to watch and experience Him in so many new ways. I may carry scars, like the one on my arm – forever, but His love for me reminds me that I AM NEVER ALONE or ON MY OWN with my struggles.

My scars are the best reminder of His goodness.

This next season of my life will be good. The last one was good too.

God
You heal every hurt in your own time and way. Thank you for all the ways you came through for me and for the times I thought you didn’t. I needed to grow and I probably wouldn’t have without a few battles in my life. Thank you for the upgrade!
Amen

R E J E C T I O N

Friday, July 21st, 2017

I woke up this morning feeling like garbage! I felt grumpy, head-achey just all around miserable! I didn’t notice just how crummy I was feeling until I got ticked at my cup of coffee before I’d even had a sip. Don’t ask.

I’ve had an issue rolling around inside my head & heart for the last few days. Waking up this morning was like the eruption of all the feels! I’ve prayed over it. I’ve talked about it with my hubby. I’ve pondered it in my thoughts. I’ve laid it down and then picked it up again. This morning, God said, “Let’s get this done with!”.

So, here I am. Pouring out my thoughts on rejection. Don’t misunderstand, I’m no expert on Biblical understanding of how other people love or don’t love. All I can do is share what God has told me through scripture and prayer. I’m all wrecked and flawed like everyone else. I’m trying to live as a blank slate every single day! I get up & look for God to use me, fill me and make me more like Him because, friends, I ain’t no good as is!

I NEED JESUS!

God is a slick operator (I mean, hey…HE’S GOD!!! Duh), my morning devotion was on rejection straight up in my face! The writer told a story about a time a really close friend dissed her in a big way for what felt like no reason at all. She was so hurt that she acted out in her flesh and sought out some sort of retaliation against her “friend”. She felt all the hurt feelings and thought all the negative thoughts that most of us tend to feel when we’re in such a situation. Rejection hurts. It crushes us and wounds us and our natural reaction is to fire back. To make the offender feel like they’ve made us feel.

God goes about dealing with rejection in the absolute opposite way. (Of course HE does) He says, “Do not judge and you will not be judged!” Ouch! Also, “Do not condemn and you will not be condemned!” Oh Lord, come on! Here’s the big one, “Forgive and you will be forgiven!” Yikes! I’m being measured just like everyone else and I know better than to be vengeful or mean-spirited to others. God has a better way. He’s offering me the choice to love like HIM.

READ LUKE 6:37-42

Funny how far off the path we can get when we act out or feel life’s struggles in our own fleshly way. I do not have to worry about anyone who doesn’t want to be my friend or whether they like me, accept me or ever speak to me again. My role isn’t to chase people down and force them to care about me. My role is to be a loving person to them no matter how they treat me. If they insult me or ignore me, love them anyway. I’m no better than they are and God will bless me for my obedience to Him.

I answer to God, not others.

The greatest thing I can do for me and for them is to pray for them. Genuinely seek God in blessing their lives and for opportunities to be a Christ-like friend whenever I have the chance. Rejection isn’t fatal. Sometimes it’s a painful way of learning to look to Jesus for acceptance in a world heck bent on spitting in the face of God. My little hurt feelings are nothing compared with the rejection my Lord has suffered. Seriously, He never did anything rude or ugly to anyone (I can’t claim that) yet He suffered the worst kind of rejection.

I’ll end with this, remember how jealous and cruel Joseph’s brothers were to him? They really disliked their little brother, enough so that they threw him in a hole to get rid of him forever! Joseph didn’t die there but he struggled through some rough treatment before his most important role. When he finally came face-to-face with those same mean brothers they were shakin in their sandals for the way they treated him. Joseph had every right to lash out and to destroy them for their sin against him…but, he didn’t dare. He lovingly told them, it’s okay. What you meant as harm for me…GOD HAS USED IT FOR GOOD!

Whatever someone is doing to you or has done to you — don’t let it consume you or wreck your heart. Trust God that He is going to use it for good. Maybe not right now, could be for a far off time but trust Him that He will make it right. Love & be loved. Be a friend, turn the cheek and remember rejection isn’t about you it’s about them.

Good People are Sinners

Wednesday, March 8th, 2017

broken heart

I need help. I have a condition that cripples me from living the fullness of my life as God promises. It’s called human being thinking. Also known as worldly thinking.

What is human or worldly thinking? Well, in a nutshell…it’s believing that I’m the only person I need to worry about pleasing or satisfying. It’s thinking that I owe no one or thing any allegiance but my self.

The truth is, I’m not qualified to be my own God and Judge.

    My heart is wonky.

It’s dirty, full of sin and ready & willing to turn to whatever feels good instead of running hard & fast after what is Holy. One of the biggest lies we tell ourselves is that one about being a GOOD person.

I’m a good person … therefore, don’t judge my decisions or choices. They’re mine, butt out!

The problem with that is that a lot of good people end up in hell. Being “good” isn’t what offers you and me a place in eternity with God.

be holy

While I believe there are good people in the world, I know without a shadow of a doubt that not one of them is perfect or spotless in the eyes of God. It just isn’t possible. Only Jesus Christ has the ability to be that. We are liars, thieves, cheats and more. We trick ourselves by justifying the sin in our lives and that’s where we get the uncanny ability to overlook faults or weaknesses that make us everything we never want to be (or to be called), wrong.

Look, sin is a human condition. Not one person gets to walk through this world without falling into its hole. We are all sinners. You, me, your grandma, your pastor, your best friends’ Sunday school teacher….. every. single. person. sins.

The problem we have isn’t just admitting it. It’s admitting it and believing we need a Holy God to forgive us. To repent and or change.

be holy 1

Which brings me back to thinking like a human being. There are times when my head wants to gloss over what I know is wrong in my life. I can make whatever is ugly look and feel really lovely if I work at it long enough. Except, the Holy Spirit never lets me enjoy it truly because it’s genuinely gross and disgusting. It doesn’t belong where I’m trying to force it to be.

During this season of Lent, I decided (secretly, between God & Me) to give up something that was literally owning me. It’s not something that others would find bad or unhealthy…but it’s something that I know God doesn’t want for me. When I decided to remove it from my life, I was driving down the road in my car when a simple thought came to my mind that said, “Let it go!”.

Now, that seems simple. But, it had a great hold on my every day life. I liked it. I planned my day around it. It was ruling me. Once I decided to get rid of it, it left. I haven’t longed for it, I haven’t wished for it, I haven’t even tried to figure out a way around getting back to it.

It’s not something I want in my life anymore.

That’s exactly what God desires for us in every aspect of our lives. He wants us to CHOOSE HOLY over worldly. His plan for us never involves sin. We do that to ourselves. We lock ourselves into sin habits or sin thinking. Then, our hearts twist up the truth with the lies we tell our brains and the result is a lifestyle that doesn’t match up with God’s plan for us. But, then….there’s grace.

If there ever were a poster child for GRACE, there you’ll see me.

See, there’s nothing so bad….not one sin that God isn’t ready and willing to forgive us for and to help us overcome in our lives. He is in the forgiveness business. He sent His Son because HE KNEW we would need that kind of sacrificial love and mercy.

Listen, if you’re believing the lies you tell yourself that you don’t need God or His ways….you’re wrong. You do, I do … we all do. He knows that. He’s ready and willing to turn you around. Don’t buy into what the world is selling. It’s cheap and it’s costly all at the same time.

You’re worth more than that.

be holy 2

Hope in Him

Monday, December 5th, 2016

hope in him

I believe with all my heart that God has a plan for my life. I haven’t lost hope during this time of unemployment but I have felt the strain of “when will he find a job” stress. I can’t imagine why it’s taking so long. This is the fourth month my hardworking husband has been stuck at home wondering what’s next.

It’s painful.

I’ve noticed the awkwardness it seems to unleash on others when they hear you’re unemployed. Many people are kindly sympathetic and groan with you offering to pray or let you know if they “hear” of anything job-wise while other’s are silent. The kind of silent that hurts like a shame.

I don’t believe people are uncaring, really. I think maybe they don’t know what to say or how to minister to someone hurting from job loss. Maybe that’s how it is for a grieving person when friends or loved ones just stay silent. It’s almost like you have something to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.

Losing a job, for no good reason and staying unemployed for long periods of time really does something to your ego. It hardens your heart to almost everything. I can drive by places of business and think mean thoughts about all the cars parked there knowing they belong to people with actual paying jobs. I get meanly jealous (crazy I know).

I’m trying not to feel completely lost to the silence that comes from people who don’t know what to say about the struggle we’re in right now. I know it’s awful. I know it’s sad. I know it’s something NO ONE ELSE EVER WANTS TO HAVE as a problem. Who thinks anyone wants to lose their job and sit at home begging anyone to hire them? Any job? No one.

So, I’m learning….. when someone I know or meet tells me they are jobless and searching, I will love on them. I will encourage them. I will speak up and not ignore their pain.

Want to know what to do when someone is hurting or struggling with job loss?

SPEAK UP! ENCOURAGE THEM! LOVE ON THEM! OFFER TO HELP! SEND THEM JOB IDEAS! TAKE THEM TO DINNER OR INVITE THEM OVER! MEET A NEED! PRAY WITH THEM!

Yesterday, our Pastor ministered to us with the greatest message of HOPE! I love how God does that. Even through all these months……I’ve never lost HOPE in God or in His plan. So, whatever you’re going through – you have complete HOPE because of God’s POWER!

Don’t let anyone steal your hope!