Queenies Little Kingdom

Who can be negative at an Oncology office? I’m here, it’s windy out and the skies are clear & beautiful.

My first experience with cancer treatments and it’s nothing at all as I imagined. The environment is quiet, the people busy and the doctor ready for any question. He sits with us and talks….almost as if he’s thinking outloud.

I’m confident he knows what’s best and is making sure it happens. I like his plan and his willingness to share it with us.

I wait. She gets busy with radiation. It still seems unreal.

I feel grateful. So does she.

She used to say to me all the time while I was growing up — you can’t keep a good dog down (referring to her own tenacity to make it) and I believe it more than ever.

She’s one tough cookie!!

No bloggy fun for me today as I'm on a jet plane to Florida.  I'm looking forward to seeing my mom and really being able to listen to her and all that's going on with this illness.  In one way, I wish I knew what I was facing (at her side).  In another, I think God knows just what I need and knowing certain things is probably better kept secret.

So, as I venture into this new territory…I covet your prayers.  I know that God is bigger than any sickness, hurt or loss.  I simply want to be available to Him as I serve her with my presence.  I can't heal my mother but God can and while I'm with her during this battle….I hope that for both of us emotional healing can take place too.

I hope to take not only a positive attitude with me but an uplifting spirit as well.  Some of what I hope to do while I'm visiting her—>

Photographs — I hope to take some pictures of her and the two of us together.

Stories — I can't wait to hear some old family stories.  I'm sure there are some funny ones.

Favorite foods — I love my mom's cooking but I hope to make her some tasty treats while there.  Eating has a way of connecting folks.

Rest  — I plan to follow her lead.  If it's quiet and rest, then that's what I'll do.  If it's busy and loud, I'll go with that too.

Time is never on our side.  Life is fragile and I realize that more than ever as I stare this cancer in the face.  I feel thankful that I have a reason to spend time with my mother.  I want to honor her & honor God with the time we have together.

No matter the past…

I've been MIA thanks to a serious weekend of sickness mania!  I felt it coming all week long.  My skin was literally aching!  By Friday night, full on headcold/sinus pain enough to take down the biggest of dudettes.

I'm calling it THE WEEKEND I BEGGED HUBBY TO RUN OVER MY HEAD WITH THE CAR illness.  It's now Sunday night and I'm not any better.  Packing for Florida has been a real drag too.  Tiny amounts of strength mixed with a fuzzy brain just don't bode well for putting actual clothes in a suitcase for a two-week trip.

To a totally different climate.

Who knows what I'll be wearing.  At this point, I don't care!  I just want to know who can lead me through the airport and help me carry my stuff.  Nothing that I take makes a lick of difference either.  My right sinus is just as packed whether I snort a nasal spray or don't.  The pressure is intense.   Can you say, head pounding?  Perfect for flying.  Not!

So, it's safe to say that all this positive attitude advice blogging….really should be left to the professionals.  I'm clearly in over my head or paygrade, however you want to put it.  My attitude has been put to the test in just about every aspect of life this month.  If I get out alive, it will be a miracle.

How do you have a positive attitude when you're physically sick?  I have a few ideas.  Check it–>

1.  Stick close to home with family/loved ones.  Home really is where the heart is.

2   Don't try to do your normal routine.  Let other's help you out.  Rest.

3.  Don't be a victim.  Find a way to see something good in your situation.

4.  Smile through the pain.  It's amazing how much better you feel if you have something to smile or laugh about.

Proverbs 6:2, "Watch what you think or say, lest you become ensnared by the words of your mouth".
 

I'm not going to sugarcoat this…..it is hard to have a sweet attitude when the people you come in contact with the most ARE JERKS!

Ever catch yourself….REACTING?

I'm guilty.  And disappointed in myself for doing it.  Darn these emotions, darn em to heck!  I want to know JUST ONCE what it's like to conduct yourself without all the emotions God created within me.

Why can't I be all loosey goosey?

Maybe you're like me, super emotional.  If you are, what do you do to keep yourself in check?  For me, I usually have to apologize after I've lost my cool.  Which just ticks me off (especially when I'm trying to write 31 days of how to have a positive attitude!!).  Oh the irony!

So, all I've got for you is how to do "clean up" after you've blown it.

1)  Clearly, get away from the situation and reflect.  Decide just how WORTH it the blow up was.

2)  Ask God for some guidance.  He's more than likely going to convict you of your part.  Go with it and be ready to say sorry!

3)  Apologize to the person you blew up at.  Just bite the bullet and fall on your sword.  It's up to them to forgive.  But be honest with your sorry!

It's Friday and I'm feeling a little nervous about leaving my own family for 2 weeks.  Tensions are high and emotions are whirling around me.  I'm taking my own advice and trying to be careful what I say to the ones I'm leaving behind.  Even if they don't pay me the same honor.  I want to please God with my behavior & attitude.

Pray for me…

I heard the news this morning that a hurricane is heading just where I need to go on Monday!  Talk about timing!!  Wow!  I'm not going to fret and worry….just yet.  I'll wait until Sunday or Monday to start that.  Why waste a worry?  Right?  I'm out of control when it comes to hurricanes anyway.  What good will it do me to start stressing out?

Which brings me to this….how easy is it for you to own other people's problems?  Today, my co-worker was feeling a little overwhelmed about all the absences of several students.  The reason?  We don't have time to catch people up after they've missed so much work.  Our class moves pretty fast and absences set us back (us & the student).  The thing about absences in school is that it's up to the student to make up or catch up on whatever they missed.  In a real world, that would be ok.  We, work in Special Ed.  That's not how the game is played.

So, it gets stressful and confusing.  Lucky for us, we have the two of us trying to manage it all.  One person would probably pull all their hair out.

My tip is –> LET IT GO!

You can't own the mistakes of another person.  Step outside of the situation and allow them to take the responsibility of their problem.  It's ok to help out.  But taking it on and sticking it in your own bag of to-do's is a big mistake.  It's impossible to learn & grow if you're always being rescued.

Yesterday, I had one of those days.  The kind that remind me just how many blessings I have, days.  God loves to use other's to get my attention, huh?

I was a little nervous about getting my stitches out but that was a waste of nerves.  My favorite school nurse, Amy… was chomping at the bit to do it.  So, after school we got down to business and it was a piece of cake.  She even butterfly taped the spots that needed just a bit more healing time.  Love this lady!

Blessing #1  (Didn't have to go back to the doctor $$)

The finished results!  Not too bad, eh?  The doctor's office called after I left school as well to tell me that my lab results showed no cancer.  She did say that the results revealed "pre-cancerous" info but that was just to keep an eye on the spot.  Mmm, ok.

Blessing #2

Since I'm leaving on Monday, I won't be home to vote and if you've gotten to know me in the slightest….I WILL NOT MISS MY CHANCE TO VOTE!!!  Hubby and I went to the courthouse and there we both were able to vote on the coolest computer screen system.  Plus, God had a gentleman (a stranger) there waiting just for me to encourage me and ask if he could put my mom on his church's prayer list!  Uhmm, YES PLEASE!!  

Blessing #3

Remember all the car fiasco?  Ally's car has been out of commission since August 23.  Hubby was able to find a replacement motor in our price range and it is being picked up on Friday!  Woohoo!  I wanted to cry!  Plus, he went out to a friends to begin the work of taking the old motor out.  It feels good to know this problem is solvable!  Wow, God!  Thank you!

Blessing #4

I needed a ride from the airport next week (since my mom begins radiation that same day), so I sent out an SOS on Facebook.  Tons of loving friends and family reached out.  I was so overwhelmed.  My cousin who lives near the airport agreed to pick me up and drive me to my mom's.  Awesome!  Plus, I get to hug her after many years apart.

Blessing #5

A friend from high school (in Florida) offered a ride as well.  She sent me a message last night.  She said she was talking to a friend and mentioned having a friend (me) in Indiana and that my family was a ministry family.  She said, "You probably don't know her".  The other friend asked who…she said my name and the friend laughed and said, "I know Wanda Galloway".  This friend and her family were our friends from seminary and up until a few years ago, lived right down the street from us.  Such a small world.  Really, it is.

Blessing #6

I know this will sound silly but….I didn't have to cook dinner last night.  Hubby left early to work on the car so I was home to relax a bit and hang out with my girls.  I decided around 9pm to make a pot of spaghetti.  I suppose it's just the thought, if you DON'T HAVE TO, then you get the energy to actually do it.  Crazy, I know.

All of those blessings were a super boost to my attitude.  It's easy to be nice and fun when you're blanketed with good stuff, isn't it?  I just listed a few of the things that made my day.  I bet there are many other great things that happened that I'm forgetting.  My point is…..grab those good things and focus on them.

Focusing on the GOOD stuff really helps when the bad tries to weasel it's way in.