Queenies Little Kingdom

What do you do with the time you have with the ones you love? You take it, savor it and squeeze in as much fun as you possibly can. That’s what we were doing yesterday.

Only, we were missing a piece of our party.

She’s (Ally) in Indiana. Holding down all the world’s responsibilities ON HER OWN DANGED SHOULDERS! So, while we were having fun….we were missing her.

This morning we’re all beat up and tired from all the lake fun. It’s a good tired though because Texas is a whopping 100 degrees today, EVERYWHERE! And we are inside staying cool and “relaxing” from a hard day of playin’!

It was the perfect first day in Texas.

Only 12 or so more to go.

* More shenanigans to come.

My feet are getting old. It’s true. I’m aging and so are my feet, legs, torso, skin, hair and brain. I can hide a lot of that stuff with clothes, flesh and hair-coloring but my feet? Not so much. They need fresh air here and there and wearing sandals and opened-toed shoes are my faves!

Recently, my girls and I were discussing pedicures. Last year (October 2014) was the very first time I had ever had one. (GASP! I know, I’m barbaric) For the most part, I rationalized NOT getting them because I loved painting and caring for my toes myself. Plus, I’m cheap. I love buying stuff and pedicures aren’t free. So, I avoided them and told myself they were NO BIG DEAL! I might have even harumphed at friends who bragged and flashed their pedi pics on social media. I don’t know, I hate me too.

I don’t mind spending my dollhairs on S H O E S though.

So, back to my conversation. The girls asked me if I had just given up doing my own pedi’s because I “seem” to be splurging rather regularly on getting them now. (Which, I don’t…it’s a here & there thing, really) My answer was it’s JUST EASIER!

With age comes loss of certain abilities.

Bending my old lady body over to clip, clean, shape and then paint (I struggle with old lady eyes too) my toes, has become rather uncomfortable. I hate it! It pinches and I’ve lost my ability to keep it all clean and tidy. Think: Kindergartner painting toenails. Besides, who massages and pampers their own legs and feet? That’s not happening! Unless you let someone else do it.

There, we have the luxury of a pedicure. For approximately $30 or so and it lasts a few weeks (I usually get 2 really good weeks out of mine) it is worth it. I just paint my own in between pedi’s and live with the struggle of not getting pampered.

I’m not a Rockefeller!

Are you pampering your feet too?

DO IT!!

I don’t know why I’m the way I am. I’m a bundle of everything all rolled into one person. I like staying home and relaxing… but, I really like taking off on adventures too. Going somewhere new and exciting is thrilling. It opens up my heart and fills me up with purpose.

It’s almost the middle of July now and I haven’t left my house for anything more than a grocery run or a jaunt to the Library in weeks.

I’m itching. Matter of fact, I have hives from all my itching. If I don’t take off soon and go somewhere, I might keel over.

There’s no certain place or specific thing I feel like I have to do. I’d go anywhere and I’d try pretty much anything. I just want to GO!

Ever feel like that?

Ahem, yes….this is the kettle calling the pot black. Just go.

I started exercising. Wouldn’t you know, a body that’s been pretty sedentary doesn’t take too well to sudden movement.

Shin-splints, muscle aches and strained whatevers are all trying to bring me down.

I’m not playing along. I just keep doing what my tired old body can do and push through the stings and stabs.

Being a fatty can be a drag.

But I think, being a deady would be even worse.

Today is a good day to START something. If you need to change the way you’re eating, do it. If you need to get up off the couch, do that. Whatever it is that you need to do to have the BEST DAY, do it now!

I’ll always think of my mother on this day, her birthday. She would’ve turned 66 years old. That’s not very old, is it? In 9 more days….she will have been gone 2 years from my life. Every day it gets a little easier but the loss is still real and sad at the same time. Today, I’ve been writing about her (ironically) in a book about my life. It’s a peek in the window of growing up with dysfunction and abuse. It’s something that I have to do. Not long ago, I had a realization that the words stuck in my head and heart were trapped because of the hard stuff that I needed to write first.

Who wants to tell the world they grew up with a mentally ill mom?

My whole life, I just wanted to be normal and I wanted my mom to love me without the ugly parts of her mind raging over me. Today, on her birthday….I choose to think of all the great qualities she possessed. Not the mistakes or the shortcomings. Just what I know and love about her.

She was loyal, loving, funny, beautiful and full of passion. She was proud of her kids and grand kids. She was generous to anyone in need and often helped others who couldn’t help themselves. She made changes in her heart and life towards the end which brought her both peace and finally the satisfaction she had always searched for.

I miss her.

Happy birthday Mom. I can only imagine how completely happy you are in heaven.