Queenies Little Kingdom

I attract strangers no matter where I travel.  I'm a magnet for people.  I like it, most of the time.  Sometimes, it can get weird.  Like, a few weeks ago when I was rustling through a rack in a thrift store.  It was the day I found the Free People sweater.  A man standing nearby pointed out another sweater with the Free People logo after noticing I had the other in my hand.  A little strange, since he was a dude and I'm a chick…..

Who's noticing brand names in a thrift store besides the ladies, right?  Well, obviously…my new friend.  I thanked him for his good eye and continued to go through the rack.  He carried on talking.  First, he mentioned that he didn't NEED the sweater because he didn't have a wife or any daughters.  (Insert: nervous laugh)  I laughed back and again thanked him for the help.  Next, he opened the gates and spilled out that he had just gotten a divorce.  (Inside my head: Okay, bye!).  Before I could peel out, he began the story of how she accused him of cheating and come to find out….IT WAS HER doing the cheating!

Now he's all alone and their son won't even speak to him because the ex-wife brainwashed him against the dad.  Every single bit of bad news he gave me, I countered it with a positive.  I assured him that God was going to take care of him and I even encouraged him to look for the blessing in such a rotten situation.

But, I didn't do that until I sympathized with him.

When life knocks you down, typically….you don't need someone to just tell you it's going to be okay.  I mean, you will need to hear that….eventually.  For the most part, you just need someone to listen and FEEL your pain.  I know it sounds weird that I listened to a stranger spill his heart in the middle of a Goodwill.  However, I'm not surprised at all that it was me he found to unload on.

God…..has a way of keeping me on track.

Here's what I know — Life is often a battlefield of explosions.  Good days, bad days and even a few in-betweens.  Somewhere, someday…..tragedy is going to strike.  Trouble comes pounding on our doors when we least expect it.  It might be a divorce, a death, a job loss….a family riff or even a broken down vehicle.  Something is going to slap you around.  Heck, it may even push you to open up to a strange lady wearing no make-up in the Goodwill.

And, I have good news!

YOU CAN GET BACK UP!

You hold the power to fight.  Please don't think I'm making light of any painful life
occurences.  I'm not.  That pain is real and sometimes…crippling!  What I'm saying is DO NOT STAY PARALYZED in your troubles.  Get up, find your joy (it might involve MAKING your own happiness) and live your life.  

I wouldn't suggest dumping on strangers as a first resort, but…find someone you can trust to listen to your heart (don't be a constant dump truck of problems).  No one wants to be a chronic therapist for a person that won't make the life changes that need to be made.  Be smart about your wallowing in self-pity.  Give yourself some goals.  Write out some ways that will help you move forward.  Scratch a line through them when you accomplish each one.

Before you know it….. You are back on your feet again and hopefully, a NEW & IMPROVED version of you is ready for the world!

Hot dog it's Friday!   I love the weekend almost as much as chocolate and dinner out.  Plus, it lasts 2 whole days and in my warped mind that equals 2 chocolates and 2 dinners out.  So, yeehaw!

How about some fashion love?

Have we talked Hunter boots here?  I can't recall.  So, it's only right that we give them first place on today's fashion post.  I love the comfort,  the trendy look and most of all the dry feet warmth they provide.  Every girl NEEDS a pair of Hunter boots.

These are around  $148 at Zappos.  Watch carefully if you're shopping for a pair,  the Hunter website has great sales.

I adore this raincoat.   It is classy and functional.  Also, it is on sale for $34.99. WOW.

Find it here.  http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/jones-new-york-hooded-striped-raincoat?ID=1231675

I'm not a big fan of t-shirts but this one from Marley Lilly is so cute.  On sale for $9.99

https://www.marleylilly.com/product/marleylilly-neon-pink-selfie-t-shirt/

Here I  go with the pink stuff again, right?  I can't stop myself.  This dress is seriously spring inspiration.

On sale at Macys.  $54. http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/charter-club-icon-print-belted-shirtdress?ID=1777232&CategoryID=24118&LinkType=#fn=PAGEINDEX%3D2%26sp%3D2%26spc%3D2278%26ruleId%3D%26slotId%3D44

How sweet is this striped cowl neck dress?  For $21.99 it is a must have!

http://www.6pm.com/hatley-cowel-neck-dress-navy-red-stripes

I'm throwing another white shirt in the mix……I know,  I'm a sick pup.  But, I love them darn it!

Look how adorbs.   See why I added it?  On sale at H & M for $ 1 5. Dollhairs!

http://tablet.hm.com/us/product/56966?article=56966-A#showSlideshow

Well, it's wrap it up time.  I've just started a new book and my brain is fully immersed.  So, enjoy your weekend while I'm deep into this http://www.amazon.com/The-Girl-Train-A-Novel-ebook/dp/B00L9B7IKE  It's rumored to be even better than Gone Girl.   Hmmmm, I'll let you know.

You would think…. now that I don’t work full-time, workplace frustrations wouldn’t affect me.  But, I’m a wife to a working man, a mother to working young adults and a friend to many that punch a time clock every day.  I see the annoyances of work relationships, I hear the stories involving disgruntled or trouble making co-workers and worst of all……I cringe at the temper tantrums and back stabbing that occurs in just about every place of employment.

People can be toxic.  Too often,  they are allowed to be toxic in the work place.

It’s no secret, if you want to bring the best out in your employees….a great leader must make the way by treating each person with respect, by modeling integrity and most of all practicing self-control.  Workplace bullies cause more harm in jobs than any other issue.  I can recall some rather miserable days spent at a job that I loved…..but struggled at because of mean-spirited team members or cruel treatment from a weak leader.

Since GOING POSTAL isn’t logical or a humane way to deal with workplace blues, I’ve come up with a few ways to cope instead of flipping out.  So, this is for you! 

1.  Think before you SPEAK & ACT. 
Remember the advice of your mother when you were growing up.  Stop and give yourself a few minutes before responding to a beligerant employee.  Oftentimes, that person will regret their behavior and by your not joining in on their crazy….you remain a model of character that everyone can trust and rely on as steady & sure.

2.  Be CONSISTENT.
Strong leaders should never be wishy-washy.   If you’ve ever worked for or with someone who constantly changed gears then you understand the rocky foundation felt by everyone.   It makes the work environment very confusing.   A poor leader often thrives on keeping employees on their toes with this kind of leadership but the truth is, stressed out or afraid of getting fired workers do not perform their best.   Be fair, be considerate and be trustworthy.

3.  Give 100%.
No matter if you are a beat up stifled employee or a loaded down boss, give it your all.  It may go unnoticed but YOU will be able to say that you did your best.  Always be the hardest working person at your employment.  Always.

4.  Never MUDSLING.
We’ve all worked with THAT person who stirred up trouble with their gossip and “get ya” attitude.   It’s miserable but even more it’s wicked.   Don’t be a part of it and never be the one responsible for doing it.  Your reputation will suffer…..even if the people around you agree with what you are saying.  Keep a lid on your emotions.

5.  FORGIVE.
Workplace relationships are important to the health of your company and to you as employees.   Just like in families,  forgiveness will be key in dealing with a multitude of personalities.  Be quick to offer your offender a pass and move on without holding grudges.  People know when you haven’t gotten over a mistake.   So does God!

In writing this list, I’m reminded that there really is no ideal place to work.  Every job has stress, every employer has weak spots and every person is human (flawed by nature).  Your mental and emotional well-being will forever be tested when combined with these combinations.  You deserve to enjoy what you do for a living but you also play a giant role in making work a positive experience.   If you’re unhappy …..

I'm handling the season finale as good as can be expected……I'm boohooing my way through the day!  I should've known time was here already when I watched last night's episode, as if… the show would just go on and on.

I am so good at sticking my head in the sand!

Honestly, WHAT ELSE DOES JULIAN FELLOWES have to do?  Can't he just put his nose to the grindstone and write words?!?  More Downton Abbey words?

Like these –>

“Why do you always talk of me as if I were a salmon who laid my eggs in the gravel and then swam back to the sea?”   (The Dowager to her son the Earl of Grantham at the train station.)

I read this morning the sad news that dear old Granny will not be traveling along past Season 6 of Downton.  In her words, she has to be around 120 years old based on the current show's timeframe.  Who lives that long?  Not even a grand Dowager!  I don't know how I'll get along with all the changes to come but especially seeing her go!  She's done a great service to Downton watchers everywhere with her wit, regal stiff love and her ever growing bestfriendship with Isobel.  Thank you, Maggie Smith!  You are a star at 80 years old!

Since I don't want to give away any spoilers for you fans that didn't watch last night's show….I'll just move on along with my ever pushy encouraging words for you to WATCH SOON!  And, if you are someone whose somehow skipped out on watching Downton Abbey altogether — what are you waiting for?

WATCH THIS SHOW!!!

Start at Season 1.  I promise, you will be hooked!

Pardon me while I go tend to my broken Downton heart.

I really wanted to call this week's Fashion post the I'm Not Sick Edition!  However, that would mean that I'm completely healed with no head congestion or gack coughing which is not the case.  I'm still lingering in the world of I may never get totally well again.  Dang me! 

I'm never going to take a healthy body for granted ever again.  I MEAN IT!

I really love the look of a white button-up shirt with a great pair of boyfriend jeans.  It's good for a casual look and it can work for a snazzy night out.  Win win!  So, I've searched around for something on trend yet affordable for most budget savvy chicks!

Broken-in Boyfriend Jean J. Crew

Now, these are much lighter than I wear normally but at this sale price for J.Crew?  You can't beat it.  $69.99

Chaps Crinkle Gauze White Shirt

I have a real issue with white button-up shirts.  I buy them and hoard them forever.  They go with anything and I really like this gauze one.  It's perfect for the J.Crew jeans above!  On sale at Kohls for $45

Single Button Boyfriend Blazer

I think a great way to jazz up that shirt and jeans is a cute boyfriend blazer.  This hot pink is perfect to compliment a little pink closed-toe high heel.  I'm also in favor of buying this in a navy blue.  It will be a classic look that will NOT go out of style anytime soon.  A girl can get a lot of wear for a long time out of a cute jacket!  $32.99 at Charlotte Russe.

Layered Teardrop Necklace

No matter what color you decide….this statement necklace will help you complete your look and the matching earrings!  Oh so affordable too at $13.00 at Charming Charlies!  Please tell me, you've heard of this store?!  It's amaaaaaazing!

Today I stumbled upon the deal of the week at a Goodwill not far from my house.  Someone in my area tossed out a gorgeous Free People cardigan.  I paid a whopping $4.59 for it and here is a close replica (mine is seriously prettier).

Free People Long Sleeved Oversize Sweater

This one is on sale for $84.99 at Macy's.  I can't believe my good luck, can you?

And because my best friend's son is FINALLY getting married this year and I love him and his sweet girl Dawn like they were my own punks…. I couldn't help but post this gorgeous gown.  If you follow 19 Kids and Counting, then you know about Jessa choosing a beautiful blush gown.  I'm kind of partial to that color and when I saw this gown, I just knew it would be perfect for a BEACH wedding.

Annabelle Dress

This romantic soft tulle gown is designed to be versatile and can be worn 15 different ways.  It was originally created as a bridesmaid gown but for the perfect girl….this would be stunning as a wedding dress.  It comes in several colors including white, but I just can't get over the blush.  $260.00  Thank you Anthropologie!  Wow!

I'm off to spend the day in Art class and the weekend loving on my other MINI-ME.  I can't wait…..WE'RE MAKING WAFFLES!