Posts Tagged ‘growing up’

Are They Ready?

Thursday, September 5th, 2013

born

 

I didn't sleep well last night.  My mind kept racing through the last twenty-something years of my life.  Thoughts of mothering the ones God entrusted to me so long ago bombarded my brain.  Have I done everything I should have done?  Has my influence on them been effective or harmful?  Do they know all that they need to know to face the world without me? Will they choose what's right without me there to guide?  Are they ready?

Am I ready?

I can't imagine that I'm the first mama to go through this whirlwind of emotions.  My kids are not the first ones to "move out" and grow up.  Somehow, each of us must face this head-on and experience every detail of it….for ourselves.  I'm rattled by the reality that come tomorrow, no children will live in my home…possibly ever again.  That's harsh!

Why is the identity of a woman so deeply connected to being a mother?

mom rights

Because of God.  I believe.

The first time I looked into the face of my first baby(Gavin) I knew that nothing in my life would ever be the same.  That same passion ignited with the birth of my two girls as well.  A mother's heart is wild with abandon and beats hard to nurture & protect.  For me, my children have been my world (like most moms).  Every step I've taken has been done with THEM in mind.  I chose to put my whole self into being the kind of mother I felt God wanted me to be to them.  Not a perfect mother….but a steady, solid and trustworthy one.

The kind of mother that left no doubts of how I felt about them, ever.

mother love

At this point, I have no more time to go back and change anything that I've done or not done to prepare them for the world.  It's game time!  The morals, values and beliefs are all set.  My worrying about whether they are strong enough to withstand the world and it's harsh reality won't change a thing.  (They) say, "letting go is the hardest part" and to that I say…."I agree!".  Perhaps that's the reason I couldn't sleep.

My heart wants to cling.  Which makes me want to linger over every stage of loving them.  I can't imagine the "moments" coming to an end – laughing around the table, searching for lost items, answering the calls for direction and piling up on beds just to chat.  How do you just stop "life" cold turkey?

I can't answer.  I just have to step into this new role and learn as I go.

I'm not sure if my heart will ever be the same, again.

mama

Lord,

Thank you for blessing me with children that love YOU & the family in which you placed them.  Being their mother has shaped me into the person I am today.  My heart beats out of my chest with joy & gratitude for the love I share with each of them and I KNOW….You have great plans for all three of them.  Plans to prosper & bless them beyond what I could ever imagine.  Thank you for loving them EVEN MORE THAN ME.

Amen

be true

Tastes BitterSweet

Tuesday, July 31st, 2012

I'm not sure how I feel yet.  Shocked a little, maybe numb?  A mixture of both?

This little cutie is a high school senior!  Officially!  As of last night.  I didn't have a real expectation of any emotions.  Guess I'd psyched myself up!  I mean, come on….it's not like I haven't done this twice already.  I wasn't planning to feel…weird.

I think the news that she would be graduating mid-term is what sealed my fate.  As soon as I looked at her schedule and there was no 2nd semester classes, my heart sank.  Low.  Very low.

How do we celebrate big events (that take them from us) with our kids when it's so painful?

No turning back.  This is how it is and I'm happy & excited for her.  It's time for her to soar and grow into the woman God expects her to be.  She's going to need me (pushing & letting go) all through this year and beyond.  My wish is that I'll do it with grace (even when I want to cry) and that I'll be able to "whoop it up" with her come Christmas!

Goodluck Miss Gates!  I really am so proud of you! XO XO

 

 

 

 

Buckle up! I’m not kidding!

Monday, March 14th, 2011


I bet this won’t surprise you….but somehow, I managed to NOT prepare my heart for my baby getting her driver’s license! I’ve been innocently minding my own business (assisting two older children do all sorts of grown-up things) and all the while my little baby was growing up too! Not fair! 😉

On Friday, she and the official taker of all Galloway children to get their license DAD boogied on up to the DMV to take the BIG TEST!! Inside my head I knew this was big….but honestly, my heart just wasn’t prepared! How can this be? She’s just a punk still. Right?

Oh time! What have you done with MY BABY? I suppose I have to let go of that dream that she’ll always stay with me. But I’m not doing it happily! 🙂

Both Saturday and Sunday she got in a little practice time. She’s not had ANY driving experience until now. I wonder if that’s how it is in other families? The youngest just has to wait….while the older ones do everything? We really had fun out on the roads (ok, some of it a bit scary!) while she got the feel of being behind the wheel. She’s getting the hang of it…..but my heart may never!

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I love this crazy girl…