Posts Tagged ‘PMS’

The lengths I’ll go…

Thursday, July 15th, 2010

You have no idea what a HEADSTRONG psycho woman I am. Seriously! I’m like annoyingly stubborn when I have a task to accomplish! I will climb any mountain and sail any sea. I’m psycho, remember? And it didn’t hurt that I was functioning on a killer high of P M S !!

Yesterday (during my peak of PMS) I received an email alert that Vera Bradley had messenger bags on sale for $40. SQUEAL!!! Yes, I am a deep person…one of solid integrity! I know what’s important in life. Vera stuff on sale makes me giddy! Well, I’ve been haunting ebay for a backpack for Gates. She really wanted one for school this year and had two adorable patterns selected. When I clicked on the Vera site to look at the sale…..GO FIGURE….they were also selling the backpacks for $40!!!!! Triple squeal! I’m so excited that I jump up and down. Those suckers are $92!!

Then…..I click on her cute patterns. SOLD OUT!! Not only her patterns….but EVERY SINGLE PATTERN! Nada! No more! Nothing left! I wanted to cry! {Boohoo, I was hormonal!!) So, I decided to call Vera headquarters and find out the WHAT FOR! The very nice lady offered me two phone numbers to outlet locations that “might” possibly have some. Called them, no way! They laughed! Those have been long gone! 🙁

So, then I stared calling all the stores that I shop at and other’s that I don’t even have a clue where they are. Each time, I politely asked if they had ANY large Vera Bradley backpacks left for $40? No, no and more no’s! I finally decided to get crazy and call Louisville. I reached a sweet girl (Lauren…my new BFF) who happily told me she had one in the pattern Gates was hoping for. Then…she said the magic words, “Can I hold it for you?”. Aww, XOXOXO Lauren! I <3 you girlfriend! And I'll see you in Louisville tomorrow before noon! THE END!!

SCORE!!

Who says good things can’t happen to a girl hopped up on hormones?

Oh, and if you’re looking to win big….Vera Bradley is having the greatest contest right now. An ipad, mini case and more! Go enter!

I need my own reality show…

Thursday, July 15th, 2010

Everytime I see the different crazy shows offered on tv…..I crack up! What in the world? “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant”? Huh? Who is the idiot claiming that one? Seriously! Umm, are you completely NOT living with your own body? There is NO WAY….that before delivery takes place….YOU DIDN’T HAVE A FLIPPIN CLUE!!!! People, pregnancy is uncomfortable at least some of the time. Oh and the baby belly….even chubby can’t hide a wiggly baby!

I’m not buying it, ya’ll! Nope! Not gonna!

Back to MY show! If people are looking to find entertainment in the sheer wackiness of life…..allow me to volunteer! I’ve got a little idea for a show on P M S !! Yes, I said it! It’s one of those indescribable forces that NO MAN can reckon with. Literally! Men beware! Both yesterday and today….were my my family’s lucky day! It’s really not funny. Thankfully, my people love me and care for me. Otherwise they’d all report me and I’d go to “hormone jail”. {If it exists, like I think it does!!}

I couldn’t stop feeling so edgy and boohoo-ey! I loathe that feeling! It’s inescapable! I want to feel normal…but my body just won’t cooperate! Maybe I’m not alone. I kid about having my own PMS Reality tv show. No one wants to see mama go all “Mel Gibson” on anyone. It’s shameful!

I didn’t write this list…but I feel confident that I could’ve. Please read and note…..these moments come and thank goodness they always GO!! I’m looking forward to a better day tomorrow! 🙂

13 possible meanings for PMS:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
13. Potential Murder Suspect

# 2 & 7 were my evil nemesis today!

Lord,
You love me. Even knowing me intimately like you do! Thank you for creating me with such thought and care. Help me to manage this very delicate and unique ability I have to be completely out of my mind. I only want to honor you….and it isn’t always easy to do when your body feels out of whack!
Amen

And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful. Col. 3:15