I spent hours on the phone with an old friend from seminary days today. We had a lot of catching up to do. So much has happened since our last conversation; I’ve been on a faith journey with my hubby’s unemployment and she, along with her family closed the door on a “cushy” ministry life/job in Alabama and moved to NEW YORK CITY to church plant.
Yea, I’m thinking of changing the name of my blog to The Chronicles of a Whiny Christian at this point. Who am I? What is my problem? Why can’t I be holy enough? Sacrificial enough? Willing to let THINGS go? All things. Not only stuff things. Dumb life things.
I appreciate that God is so loving to me that He lavishes me with life perspectives in all sorts of creative ways. Obviously, He knows my wormy pathetic’ness and goes above what He must have to with “normal” folks just to get my attention.
I have the flesh of a hundred humans.
I feel everything. Times a hundred. If it can be dramatized, sister has a show in store for ya. All I’ve done in this life is behave like a dang drama queen. I am the worst!
Don’t feel sorry for me (there I go again!) because I need to crash here and there to recognize my need to rest from all my chaos. Self-induced chaos at that. I’ve confessed repeatedly my tendency to pick up trouble & worry as attributes. I cannot hide that I love to fret and freak over just about every single thing.
Got an issue? Just let me know, I’ll stress over it for you.
I fired off questions to my fancy NYC friend and she answered every one of my curiosities with grace. As if, she had a choice. I’ve never been to New York, ever. All I know about the Big Apple I’ve learned from others and tv. Surely, I sound pretty lame but everything I’ve ever heard makes me feel completely intimidated. It’s also DANGEROUS there! Like, people die or get killed every day in all sorts of ways. Okay, they die here in the Indy area too. But, NEW YORK CITY!!! Come on. You know what I mean, right?
I know about those muggings!!! I watch movies!
Do you know how hard it is to buy a bedroom dresser? It’s ridiculous! In my world, if I want to purchase furniture….I do it and go get it. With my fancy vehicle (yea, they ditched their cars to serve Jesus in NYC!) I cruise on down the road (and yea, if I sit in traffic at a red light too long…I get JERKY!!!) and pick up my furniture and go home with it. That’s not quite how it gets done in NYC. She told me some of the crazy hoops they’ve had to jump through just to buy a dang dresser from IKEA.
They travel by foot and subway.
My life. Seriously.
I’m not trying to put anyone on a pedestal of faith here, she wouldn’t dare let me. I told her how impressed I was by her willingness to sacrifice so much and she mentioned all the need for Christ in NYC. Did I mention this lady is leaps and bounds ahead of me in spiritual maturity? Why WOULDN’T she give up her cushy life to serve God in bustling New York? Uhh, duh. Yea. I was thinking all that too.
Not.
After talking all morning, I got the feeling that all my troubles…the things I’ve felt so wrecked over here in my easy life are really not so gigantic afterall. I have so many simple luxuries that I take for granted. The things that I think I cannot do, I absolutely CAN DO! Nothing is so difficult, perhaps…challenging that I cannot push on through and do.
My ministry (and I do have one when I’m not succumbing to my own disasters) is to walk my walk right here where I am this very moment. Like my precious friend in NYC, she’s walking her ministry out there…doing just what God has called her and her family to do. God isn’t expecting me to do what she is doing. He’s called her to walk her road (or busy 5th Avenue, whichever) and me to mine here in Indiana. I need to stop comparing my journey with everyone else and so do you!
Just walk out your faith friend. Wherever it is God is calling you to walk.
And, something very important…. Don’t look back!
