Posts Tagged ‘understanding your spouse’

Day 1: How To SHOW Love

Monday, February 1st, 2016

love 4

I’m so excited to launch this LOVE challenge into orbit (or the internet) for the whole world to see. Over the weekend, I spent a lot of time back & forth in my head trying to come up with ways to keep it classy and yet turn up the burner in marriages everywhere. Especially, my own.

I won’t lie. It was mayhem.

My brain can be a complicated place for many different reasons. I store up piles of unnecessary thoughts and wonderings. I get on tangents and I zero in on the craziest ideas. The good thing is, I can do that and still blog about it with some good content. I hope, anyway.

Did you know you’re unique? You’re designed and detailed with the finest little teensy weensy specific characteristics that make you – YOU! That’s good. Really good. But, did you know that the person or persons you choose to love will more than likely be completely opposite of you? As in, DAY & NIGHT different?

Oh yea, it’s true and that can complicate relationships. But, it doesn’t mean it will doom them.

Loving someone very different than yourself is common. People are doing it all over this world and doing it well. The struggle comes when one or both of the persons have no idea what makes the other one tick. What do I mean? LOVE LANGUAGE.

We each speak a particular language. Dr. Gary Chapman killed it with his book The 5 Love Languages. He wraps the world up in a tight little cocoon of every person generally feels or shows love in 5 different ways. And, man!!! Is he onto something?!

Are you wondering what your love language is? I hope so! Go HERE and take the quiz!

I’ll be honest, I really struggled in my marriage the first few years. Not only was I young and naive to the grown up world of marriage and real life….I had no idea what I needed to have my love tank filled nor how to show my husband the kind of love he craved. So, I floundered around miserably and in turn…missed out on loving my husband to the full extent.

Wonk wonk! šŸ™

Once you take the 5 Love Languages Quiz – you can really be honest with yourself about HOW YOU FEEL LOVE and SHOW LOVE. Many of us are showing love the way we want others to love us. Which isn’t bad, but it isn’t always good either. Example: If your main love language is ACTS OF SERVICE and you iron all your husband’s shirts, make a delicious meal and mow the lawn (man, you’re a nice wife)….and he doesn’t respond with some serious gratitude or praises. You are probably going to be feeling pretty mad or resentful. And, unloved.

I know this firsthand. I spent a lot of time aggravated with my hubby because he didn’t care one bit about all the NICE THINGS I did for him. Guess whose love language is NOT acts of service? Yea, my hubby’s.

Knowing how you feel love is the first step in seeing outside of yourself to love others THEIR WAY and not yours.

So, to show love to your spouse….learn his or her language. Then, do what it takes to say I LOVE YOU in that language. You might be surprised how your relationship takes off in a positive way just by acknowledging each other’s differences. It’s not a big deal to have 2 or 3 different love languages than your spouse. It’s part of our uniqueness and often is what draws us to one another in the first place. Go with it.

Today’s challenge:

YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND

Whatever your spouse wants today, do it. If it’s to take a walk or jog, go. Whip up his favorite meal, start cookin’! If it’s to spend intimate time together, get to it (minus the big sigh!). Make it your goal to step outside of you and what you want today and make his wish come true.

day 1 challenge