Posts Tagged ‘trouble’

Day 1: How To SHOW Love

Monday, February 1st, 2016

love 4

I’m so excited to launch this LOVE challenge into orbit (or the internet) for the whole world to see. Over the weekend, I spent a lot of time back & forth in my head trying to come up with ways to keep it classy and yet turn up the burner in marriages everywhere. Especially, my own.

I won’t lie. It was mayhem.

My brain can be a complicated place for many different reasons. I store up piles of unnecessary thoughts and wonderings. I get on tangents and I zero in on the craziest ideas. The good thing is, I can do that and still blog about it with some good content. I hope, anyway.

Did you know you’re unique? You’re designed and detailed with the finest little teensy weensy specific characteristics that make you – YOU! That’s good. Really good. But, did you know that the person or persons you choose to love will more than likely be completely opposite of you? As in, DAY & NIGHT different?

Oh yea, it’s true and that can complicate relationships. But, it doesn’t mean it will doom them.

Loving someone very different than yourself is common. People are doing it all over this world and doing it well. The struggle comes when one or both of the persons have no idea what makes the other one tick. What do I mean? LOVE LANGUAGE.

We each speak a particular language. Dr. Gary Chapman killed it with his book The 5 Love Languages. He wraps the world up in a tight little cocoon of every person generally feels or shows love in 5 different ways. And, man!!! Is he onto something?!

Are you wondering what your love language is? I hope so! Go HERE and take the quiz!

I’ll be honest, I really struggled in my marriage the first few years. Not only was I young and naive to the grown up world of marriage and real life….I had no idea what I needed to have my love tank filled nor how to show my husband the kind of love he craved. So, I floundered around miserably and in turn…missed out on loving my husband to the full extent.

Wonk wonk! 🙁

Once you take the 5 Love Languages Quiz – you can really be honest with yourself about HOW YOU FEEL LOVE and SHOW LOVE. Many of us are showing love the way we want others to love us. Which isn’t bad, but it isn’t always good either. Example: If your main love language is ACTS OF SERVICE and you iron all your husband’s shirts, make a delicious meal and mow the lawn (man, you’re a nice wife)….and he doesn’t respond with some serious gratitude or praises. You are probably going to be feeling pretty mad or resentful. And, unloved.

I know this firsthand. I spent a lot of time aggravated with my hubby because he didn’t care one bit about all the NICE THINGS I did for him. Guess whose love language is NOT acts of service? Yea, my hubby’s.

Knowing how you feel love is the first step in seeing outside of yourself to love others THEIR WAY and not yours.

So, to show love to your spouse….learn his or her language. Then, do what it takes to say I LOVE YOU in that language. You might be surprised how your relationship takes off in a positive way just by acknowledging each other’s differences. It’s not a big deal to have 2 or 3 different love languages than your spouse. It’s part of our uniqueness and often is what draws us to one another in the first place. Go with it.

Today’s challenge:


Whatever your spouse wants today, do it. If it’s to take a walk or jog, go. Whip up his favorite meal, start cookin’! If it’s to spend intimate time together, get to it (minus the big sigh!). Make it your goal to step outside of you and what you want today and make his wish come true.

day 1 challenge

Sense A Tive

Sunday, November 29th, 2015

Ever let someone else’s bad day become your bad day?


I’m an expert. If my hubby comes home sulky or quiet, I take it personally. Matter of fact, I pick up every little emotion of every person around me as if I were some sort of human “feeling” savant. I have a gift. You’re welcome, world. It’s the curse of being sensitive. We sensitive types like to carry every problem the world throws at us. Lame, huh? Annoying too. I hate it!

I have so many issues. I’m really perplexed at all the people who love me in spite of all the trouble I cause. I’m highly sensitive (no duh), I’m a twisted up bundle of introvert & social butterfly (oh ya, it’s bad) and I own like a boss the highest strung personality of all personalities. Don’t you want to be my best friend? I’m like no other human.

Maybe, you get me.

I care about people. I want to help them. I want to see them happy and successful. I want them to like themselves and me. I want them to feel loved and special. I’m a pleaser and a wisher of all things wonderful. I’m optimistic.

What happens to people like me when someone is rude or short-tempered? Or tired and grumpy? Or quiet and sullen? Or …. or? You get it, right?


sense it

God bless all the humans who have to interact with people like me. Really. Bless them.

I’m working on me. I don’t want to react to someone’s stress or anger with my own IT’S ALL ABOUT me attitude. I don’t want to react at all but sometimes I do and I ALWAYS regret it. Especially with my hubby. He handles life one way and me the total opposite. Me, all feely and wordy. Him, quiet and avoiding.

What I’m learning:

Other people’s feelings are NOT MY FEELINGS. They usually have NOTHING AT ALL TO DO WITH ME. Let my habit of taking everything personally GO.

Avoid situations that stress me out or overwhelm me. Just walk away, turn the car around or click it off. Don’t go there, do that or listen to it.

Don’t react. This might be my biggest weakness. It’s about time for me to knock it off. Reacting to another person’s emotions only inflames the current situation. The lack of reaction allows the other person to work through whatever it is they’re dealing with. Again, it’s not about me anyway. Unless it is and if it is, that’s a whole nother issue.

So, next time your wondering what you did to make someone who’s behaving grumpy or mad…..don’t. Let your brain rest in the comfort of knowing their problem is not your problem. Don’t make the whole situation worse by being so danged sensitive.

And this is what will kill me

Thursday, May 28th, 2015

I don’t even know where to start.   It’s beginning to feel as though oozing floorboards are just normal.

For the grand total of 4 times, we rip out what my hubby so lovingly hammered down and paid for with his blood sweat and my tears.

It’s unbelievable.  


I didn’t even lose my cool (this the 4th time).  My neighbors, they didn’t see me outside wailing and flopping around on my front lawn.  Why?  How?

Because I’ve ridden in this rodeo a time or four and I’m now on professional level with getting bucked shy high.

Come At Me Floor troubles!


What you can’t feel from this photo is the deep cushy squishy water underneath this laminate.


Miss Lizzy gave us notice that she’s moving at the end of the month.  The chronic tragedies are wearing her down.   She wants to live “LA Vida loco” 
Her words, not mine!


You might be glad to know that THIS flood wasn’t for naught.  It revealed last summer’s mystery floor damage.


The a/c unit froze, the drain pipe was blocked. … the water leaked silently for who knows how long.   Sneaking it’s way under all the foyer and living room floors.

I want vengeance.


So does Lizzy.   She’s furious!


Don’t feel sorry for me though.   Stuff happens.   Floors flood 4 times sometimes.   I’m going to sing praises for the lesson.

When I figure that lesson out, I’ll let you know.  If I make it through Construction Project #4 Summer 2015.

im ok

Tuesday Disguised As a Monday

Tuesday, April 7th, 2015

I’m full-on immersed in a misery that is of my own making (as usual) and maybe, just maybe….that’s the PMS talking because I am no longer ON EDGE, I AM OVER THE EDGE! Never mind jumping. That would be relief! I think I’ll just wallow here in my crazy and see if it all works out.

Hey, I am optimistic…right?

bloggy tues

It all started when I slept in this morning to the very late hour of 8:46 am. Who does that? I woke up, feeling as if it were at least 5:15am. I forced myself out of bed since – hello?…half of The Today show was over and I hadn’t even swigged down any coffee. Then, as if sleeping all day wasn’t enough… my hubby just walked out the door and didn’t even say, “Bye Lazy!”

What happened? Did he not even see me staggering around trying to wake up and say GOODBYE?

I didn’t even look in the mirror, just walked straight downstairs and let the dog out (who just looked at me and wouldn’t go to the bathroom). This part is very important because the rest of my day has been devoted to dog and all the dog problems a girl who doesn’t clean up puke or poop could have. Which brings me to a conversation that I DID HAVE with my hubby last night – he WOULD NOT be coming home until very late tonight.

Right. Long day. No way to be here to rescue me from every disgusting puke pile and looser-than-the-law should allow bowel movement made by our beloved Miss Lizzy.

Next I went up to make the bed, the one I had leisurely laid in all morning. I shook out the covers, straightened up all the sheets and pulled the last of the bedspread into place when I saw it….DOG PUKE!!! On my pink bed covers! I don’t wash this huge thing very often because it is gigantic and takes forever to dry but I had JUST DONE IT!!!


I went out to the garage and couldn’t figure out why it smelled so horrible until I realized that a bag of fresh stinky garbage had fallen over and some of its contents fallen on the floor! I don’t want to be all dramatic (oh, yes I do) but I had to move boxes of junk off the top of the garbage cans to put the smelly bag in and more stuff fell all over the garage. It was here that I started to pick up on a trend for myself on this the Lords day of 2015!!

So, I went back inside because, what else? Until I realized that there were many glistening spots on the living room rug. Some were great big, others were dots but all of it was either throw up or liquid poop! I fell back on my knees and started scrubbing all the spots of horror and I THANKED GOD FOR GIVING ME A MAN WHO HAS A JOB!!! But also, for a man who would clean all of it up for me if he were only home to do it.

After that, I ate a hotdog and a handful of M&M’s almond eggs because that’s how I cope, people!

blog tues

Just being real. What’s going on in your world? Hope your Tuesday is going much better than my Tuesday pretending to be a Monday.

Who’s Running This Place?

Thursday, July 19th, 2012

I know I was all "up in a tizzy" yesterday about my old cable company and it probably wasn't the best place to air my frustration.  So, if you were wondering if I'd lost my ever loving mind….I didn't.  I was just bursting with frustration and writing it out really made me feel better.

Sometimes, just saying it outloud or writing your feelings down..helps.

Last night as I crawled into bed, I could hear a rumble/argument going on in the next room.  I tell people all the time that I didn't have FIGHTING kids, and I really didn't.  They got along well most of the time growing up.  Also, I didn't allow them to get into knock-down drag-out fights.  I tried to help them work out any differences and believe me, they had plenty of those.  Disagreements are just part of life!

So, instead of barging in on them….I let it go.  I could hear back & forth banter and some of it sounded pretty heated.  It took a lot of willpower not to intervene, especially when it escalated to cry-talking.  I didn't know who, just that the argument had managed to reach real emotions.

Which is what arguments are about anyway.  Real emotions that rear their ugly head and beg for release.  Everyone's not equipped to sit on them or stifle them down in a heart closet.  Sometimes….blurting them out and spilling them for the world to see is all you can do.  Like me, yesterday regarding the cable bill issue.

King David experienced a few blow ups during his lifetime.  In 2 Samuel 13, David's own son, Amnon, crossed the line when he pretended to be sick and raped his beautiful sister Tamar.  After he finished with her, he literally threw her out and locked the door.  Nice guy, huh?  When Absalom (Tamar's other brother) heard this he hated his brother Amnon.  Who wouldn't, right?

Absalom let it fester.  Don't we all?  He devised a plan to get him drunk and then ordered his men to kill Amnon.  The message delivered to the King was that all of his sons had been killed.  When his nephew, Jonadab spilled the truth about the rape and Absalom's hatred for Amnon….David flipped out!  He ripped his clothes (they do that a lot in the Bible, huh?) and fell down on the ground.

I imagine he was pretty overwhelmed.  Falling out and losing it seem to be a natural response to such horrific news.  As a mother, I can't help but think David was blaming himself.  Why did I?  Why didn't I?  All the crazy thoughts that go through a parents head.  David probably had them all.

Troubles come in life.  Bad things happen.  We're only human and while our issues may not be as terrible as David's….they're still issues.  It's up to us to handle them in a way that honors God.  I don't recommend blogging or posting on Facebook your anger (sorry y'all) when you're upset.  It doesn't solve anything and more than that…it only ignites more pain.  People get their feelings hurt.

This morning I asked about the argument.  Both gave general answers and seemed to have it worked out.  Just as I had hoped.  Reminding me….let go and let God!  He doesn't need me running everything!  HE IS IN CONTROL!


What can man do to me?

Wednesday, November 10th, 2010

It’s comforting to know that I’m covered by the blood of Christ. However, knowing that doesn’t always keep my fleshly brain from flipping out when I have to walk through the fire. Just about anytime I’ve had to face adversity or trouble…..I feel like retreating and giving up.

Then, I remember! I don’t belong to this problem or that. I belong to the MIGHTY ONE! He is KING in my life (and more importantly…He isn’t King to many that I deal with on a daily basis). Which brings me to fake Christians, they’re everywhere! It’s disheartening! I wish people who CLAIM Christ and live like hell would just STOP IT!! Just shut it….don’t tell people you love Jesus and then openly live in sin. It makes the rest of those who are genuinely trying to follow and obey Christ stink to the whole world. {Ahem, thanks!}

Tonight, I’m clinging to the grace I know Jesus has lavishly bathed me in. I recognize what a pathetic wretch I am and I confess my many weaknesses. And I thank you Lord…..that you love me, anyway!

What do you do when you feel attacked?
How do you handle twisted accusations that are meant to destroy you?

“The Lord is on my side; I will not fear.
What can man do to me?
The Lord is on my side as my helper;
I shall look in triumph on those who hate me.

It is better to take refuge in the Lord
than to trust in man.
It is better to take refuge in the Lord
than to trust in princes.”

—Psalm 118:6-9

“Many are the sorrows of the wicked,
but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord.”

—Psalm 32:10