I shouldn't bother writing when my emotions are so raw. There's no telling how mumbly bumbly my words will be. But, I've thought about it and I'm betting there are situations in your life that trigger funky emotions too.
Even over weird things.
I sold my car today. It was a long time coming. It's 15 years old. It's been there for everything. When my hubby bought it for me (back in 1999), we had little kids. Our youngest was 4 and in a booster seat. Our son, cried as we left the parking lot and watched as our old white van got smaller and smaller in the back window.
We sort of love our cars.
For the last year or so, it's been sitting. Waiting for whoever needed it to hop in and take off. I think I've been hanging on to it out of habit. All I know is when I listed it online….interested buyers started asking questions right away. I wasn't expecting it to go so fast. Looking back, I think it was one of those bandaids off quick kind of situations.
I also didn't expect the twinge of regret I felt as I shut the front door after "closing" the deal. For a nano-sec, I considered throwing the door open and backing out on the deal. Instead, I went up to my room and sent my hubby a text. Both of us knew what the other was feeling. That car was a huge part of our life!
We raised 3 kids while hauling them around in that big rig. Each of them learned to drive in that giant monster SUV and all of them had to use it when the family was sharing vehicles. There was no shame in having to drive it. It was a rite of passage and they knew it!
Vacations were special because of that car. It was so big, we could load it up (with everything we wanted) and still have room to stretch out and sleep or watch movies while Dad barreled down the highway. Trips were a blast!
It's not very often that a big family can go places and still take friends along with them (in the same car)! But, we did it all the time! So many fun memories for our kids….
Today, my son and I were discussing rolling down the windows and cranking up the radio as loud as we could stand! We sang to the top of our lungs! Never caring what other passersby thought because we were in "the zone". I'll never forget the Sunday that I came out from church (where my kids had been sitting patiently waiting in the car) and realized one of the buttons to my radio was missing. It was still missing today….as the new owner drove away!
Cars become a part of you. You use them to get here and there. You eat in them. You drive them to special occasions. You wait in them at pick up or in the drive-thru. You carry your most prized possessions in them. You wash them, gas them up and send in the payments (faithfully). You even use them to do things for other people. In our case, we loved having 4 wheel-drive! That car pulled many stuck in the snow victims to safety.
We even used it to pull sleds in the winter, pulling kids and grandparents….even our 91 year old Mamaw! I can't imagine having missed out on all the fun that big blue "urban assault" vehicle brought to our family.
I'm happy though. A sweet couple bought it who have 8 grandchildren. They have plans to load it up, use it for fun and enjoy every inch of it. Just like my family did. It's time for some other little munchkins to leave their marks on it. Ally's chewed hole in the back passenger side door leather is still there, a reminder of having a kid who loved chewing on anything. The carpet still holds stains from spilled cokes and ground in skittles ( I vacuumed out all the french fries). I even took down the cute hand-written BEST MOM award that was pinned to my driver's side visor.
Yes, that car means a lot to me.
I didn't mean to cry thinking about all the love and fun we had in that car. I just couldn't help but think back over every memory. It's like God gave me little snapshots of stages and moments of each of my kids lives. I could see them snaggletoothed one minute then remember how cute they were asleep leaning on each other while Ally hogged up the whole back seat to herself.
My mind played each scene like a home movie for my heart to see.
To you or to someone else it may be JUST A CAR…..but for me, it was part of my mom life. God let me be the mother I needed to be for the last 15 years in that car. And today……I let her go.
