Posts Tagged ‘hurting’

10 Better Things To Do With Your Heart & Mind

Wednesday, January 23rd, 2019

…Than to focus on the crap going on in our world!

If you haven’t felt upset this week over all the horrible things on the news or on your social media feed, you may not be paying attention. The world is a wreck! It’s full of heartache and cruelty! Just when I think I’ve seen or heard it all, satan rears back up and says, “Here, hold my pitchfork!”. I am telling you, if Jesus doesn’t come back soon….we are going to literally implode on our own selves!

Lord, we need you!

I can’t wrap my heart around much of what is thrown at us on a daily basis. The recent news of New York passing The Reproductive Health Act breaks my heart in two. It is unbearable to imagine, aborting a baby ready to be born! What is happening to us? Do we have any conscience? Morals? Understanding of just what we are doing? Before you post on my Facebook or blog, don’t bother trying to convince me that IT IS A WOMAN’S RIGHT TO DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS WITH HER BODY! I won’t come over to your side when it comes to abortion. Ever. It’s just not going to happen.

Maybe you’ve seen the video of the teenage boys wearing MAGA hats this week. It’s now so controversial that no one and everyone has an opinion and what’s really the ugly issue here, still isn’t being addressed. How my heart aches for the parents & for the teens who have had to learn a very sad and hard lesson. This world IS NOT OUR HOME! Never get comfortable or complacent. There will always be someone searching out ugliness in any situation. Parents, you must protect your children. These boys, have a very difficult journey ahead. Imagine how you would feel if your middle/high school boy were treated this way. Heart ache!

Since the world’s expected to end in 12 years, I thought now would be a good time to focus on some good things to think on or do instead of buying into the garbage being pumped into our hearts and minds through television, Facebook, Twitter and more. I believe we have a hope in Jesus Christ that no matter how awful and horrible this world gets….we can find joy again and trust that only comes from knowing the love of God. He can heal our world. He can save us from ourselves. He does see every broken heart and He will come again for those of us who have chosen Him as Lord. Be ready, friends.

1. Be still.

I have learned to sit still when what I want to do most is run ahead of God and grab whatever it is that I am after. Psalm 46:10 has more meaning than just sit still though. God is big enough to handle the hardest of my struggles. I can rest knowing He is doing just that.

2. Pray.

Just keep praying. As hard as it feels, pray. I know my heart needs softening, I see the speck in my eye and I know the only way I can be who I need to be in Christ is through Him. Praying puts me in a position of trust and honor. It’s a lot harder to feel the passionate feelings against those who break your heart when you’re praying for them. People are broken. Who’s going to pray for them, if you and I don’t?

3. Buy someone lunch.

I have a Montana best friend that loves to do nice things for me. She does them for no reason and I can’t tell you how great she makes me feel. It is empowering to MY BRAIN when we go to lunch or shopping. Talking with her and sharing time together removes space from the yucky stuff going on in the world. I’m convinced, we all need to turn off the tv & social media. Go, eat a meal with a friend. Dream together and love one another well.

4. Write a love letter.

I heard a radio story way back about a man who wrote his children a love letter. He did it as a project for the men in his group at church. Initially, he was trying to soften up the guys and point them in a positive direction with their relationships with their children. What happened next solidified the importance of writing these letters because as life would have it, he passed away. The gift of his beautiful words to his children were immeasurable. So, go on…write the people in your life a letter. Tell them what they mean to you. Time will not wait for you.

5. Share your stuff.

Marie Kondo has taken over and reminded us to clear out what clutters our lives. You have something that someone else loves or admires and I KNOW YOU DO NOT NEED IT! Get busy, clean out the stuff you know doesn’t bring you pleasure and give it away. I can say that as I sit in my camper in a snow storm, stuff…..is not what’s important.

6. Help others.

If you look around, you will see…plenty of folks who need help. If you have a strong body and they need help moving…do it. If you are smart and know how to fix something broken, help them fix it. If you are blessed financially and see a need that you can meet, meet it. Have a lonely neighbor, family member or friend…go visit them. It is easy to help others. The hardest part of helping someone else is making ourselves JUST DO IT!

7. Offer grace.

As badly as it hurts, give grace. I’ll be honest, the cruel actions towards the teens on the news this week have nearly caused me to break as a human standing on the sidelines. However, I HAVE TO SEE ALL PARTIES INVOLVED AS CHRIST DOES! People make mistakes, sometimes HUGE mistakes! I can’t let my heart go crazy with anger! I want to offer grace where if you’re paying attention, there hasn’t been much. God, make me a grace giver!

8. Change your own mind.

This goes in the prayer category because if you and I are seeking to grow and be who God desires us to be….we will have to do some changing. Each of us are so drenched with who we are in this world through our heritage, surroundings and belief system. I pray, God help me change. Change what does not belong in me. Make me more like YOU!

9. Pass, on judgement.

My hubby and I are working on this in our own lives right now. Embarrassing huh? Well, I said WE ARE WORKING to stop this bad habit. Judgement comes in all sorts of packages. We judge what people look like, what they say & do, who they accept & don’t, what they’ve done or are doing, the decisions they make, their differences or whatnot! The list goes on. (I’m not using WE as just WE but each of us, as people) We spend too much time judging and not enough loving.

10. Turn off the noise.

I am sitting in silence right this very moment. If I’m not at school or out and about, it’s quiet around me. It’s important to let your mind rest. The tv, computer and cellphone are all necessary items but I will tell you, you need a break from them. In a world riddled with anxiety and TRIGGERS, it is time we set these things down and let our hearts enjoy some rest. Constant bombarding bad news or bickering talking heads rob us of our peace. Let yourself hear the real world. Play with your kids, walk your dog…have a connective conversation with someone you love or a stranger. Stop letting the noise of the world steal your joy.

I can’t tell you how much I needed this list for myself this week. At one point, I felt so stressed and angry that I wanted to throw my own hat in the ring to fight for the injustices of the world with the rest of the angry mob. That’s not going to help anyone! My best role is to focus on healthy ways to live and function in this world. God doesn’t need me arguing with anyone on Facebook or reposting what one news station said about this or that person. I want to be MORE LIKE CHRIST and I can’t do that if I’m acting like a fool!

Lord,

It is hard to live in a world that doesn’t love you like I do. Help me to see every human as you see them. My role on this earth is to love not judge.

Amen

The Great Betrayal

Monday, September 24th, 2018

I’m going to cut straight to the chase, have you ever been hurt by someone you love? I know the answer already, it’s yes. Every single person on this earth has felt the sting of a broken friendship or wrecked family relationship. It hurts. It slams us to the floor and it does something to our trust factor. We never quite get over it and the stench of it’s ugly smell lingers over us in our other relationships too.

Jesus knew all about betrayal.

I’ve written many times on mean girls and my own experiences with friends who weren’t really friends that hurt or wounded me for no reason. I say that and feel like I should clarify that I AM A HUMAN and I can almost certainly confess to my own hurtful behaviors against others too. I’m no candy striper in the world of relationships. I’ve lashed out, I’ve been a jerk and I’ve most certainly wounded those who love me too.

I’m not proud.

I’d guess that most of us have taken the arrow of a ONE TIME friend and wrestled with the WHAT JUST HAPPENED in our lives only to never get the answer. It’s okay to never know what happened. The best thing we can do is learn (in a healthy way) how to navigate the rotten experiences of relationships and NOT BE SOMEONE ELSE’S TOXIC friend next time.

I’ve been thinking of the different types of friends I’ve had throughout my life. I still have so much to learn and I trust that God will use every lesson to grow me MORE LIKE HIM and less like the people I meet or trust while I’m here on earth. People will let us down.

Maybe you know someone like these friends —>

User friend: the kind who really isn’t into being buds unless you have something she wants. She tends to only show up when she wants something from you. She will use you up (and probably play real nice until she’s finished with you) and do not be surprised when she shows off her WHAT HAVE YOU on social media or in your friend circles while never mentioning you had anything to do with it.

Always competing friend: the kind who will kill herself to one up you. She will tear you down to others and even act as if she really admires you. Don’t fall for it, it’s only a tactic she uses to gain more insider info on you. She can’t be happy cheering you on, it might make her less than important. Beware of her, she is a troubled soul that will stop at nothing to make you look bad.

Lying friend: the kind who has no issue telling untruths about you to anyone who will listen. She is sick, obviously. Her boundary lines are all confused, so she crosses them often and isn’t able to reason in her own mind the pain she’s inflicting by being dishonest about you or others. Remember, your kids see these things in adults. This is a good lesson for teaching your children about being honest.

Mean girl friend: the kind who I’m painting with one broad swoop because she is a force! This person generally plays all the types at some time or another in your relationship. She uses, competes…lies and is usually pretty mean about it. This does not have to be a friend either. It can be a family member.

Here’s what I know…

We are all capable of being bad people. None of us hold the moral high ground on relationships. Thankfully, God knew that. He experienced hurt too. My own relationship pains cannot compare to the night Judas betrayed Jesus. Just in case you needed some perspective (me too). I’ve admitted my own sin nature regarding relationships and I’m challenging myself to be better, to love others selflessly, to give and take with a God-like attitude and to recognize toxic people for what they truly are….broken and lost.

I have a much longer list of loyal friends than of those who are superficial surface ones.

Maybe you recognize them —>

Patient friend: the kind who never gets tired of listening to you (even if she wants you to zip it girl, get over it!) and loves you even when you flub up.

Generous friend: the kind who gives; her heart, time, money…whatever it is that is costly to her. She never adds up what you owe her (not just $$). She gives because she loves you and counts you as an important investment.

Praying friend: the kind who WILL BEAT DOWN heaven’s doors on your behalf. She will pray with you, for you and you better be reciprocating lady! Praying friends are the best you’ll ever have while walking God’s green earth!

Best friend: the kind that doesn’t keep score or hold your foolishness over your head. You can call her in the middle of a crisis and she is ON YOUR DANG TEAM no matter if you’re wrong or not. She will lovingly set you straight if you are though. Best friends are a gift from God and I am a living a life of luxury thanks to my LONG LIST OF BESTIES!!!

Next time you feel jilted by a “friend” remember this… God knows just how it feels to be kicked to the curb. He understands flaky people, he gets it that even those closest to you will turn on you. Don’t take it too personally. Let God sort them out, let him be the final judge and most of all figure out a way to forgive and move forward.

There is always a lesson.

Lord,
Do not let me get away with hurting anyone. Blanket me with despair until I get whatever is wrong in that relationship, right. Keep me on the path of righteousness and when someone hurts me, let me be an example of grace and forgiveness. Even if it hurts beyond what I think I can handle.
Amen

A Friend In Need

Monday, September 26th, 2011

I’ve been thinking all weekend about a hurting friend. It’s never easy to watch someone struggle through a tough situation. Words never seem good enough. For people like me (open mouth–insert foot types) I feel like I need to tip-toe around everything I say for fear I’ll make it worse.

Tell me I’m not alone, please!?

The issue at hand is a sensitive one. How do I encourage and strengthen her faith when I’m just as scared and unsure as she is? I know without a shadow of a doubt that God has a plan. He has one for her and this painful situation but it’s really hard to see when you’re hurting and afraid.

One advantage that I have in being a bit older than her is that I’ve experienced the letdowns of life and know that God always works things out for HIS glory. Even painful things. My job right now is to love her through this and that I feel privileged to do.

God
It’s hard to understand why certain sad things happen to people but I’m trusting YOU to make all things new. My sweet friend is afraid and clinging to hope. I know you’re working on her behalf and that your glory will be known….if we will only be patient!
Amen

2 Tim. 1:7 “For God has not given me a spirit of fear, but a spirit of love, power and sound mind”.