Posts Tagged ‘troubles’

Praise God Anyway

Tuesday, August 28th, 2018

Just to be clear, I’m still in this world so struggle, worry and temptation still threatens to throw me against the rocks of this life.

I’m fighting so hard to not fall in a hole of desperation. Not a day goes by that I’m not challenged to trust God and give Him full reign over me and my banged up heart.

I am made of flesh, so it’s a constant battle.

When we drove away from our family and life in April, I claimed our exit a HEALING TOUR and what God soon revealed was that healing was far away. Imagine the sting of that. Nope, you’re not going to heal but hurt and grow a bit more. I don’t point that out to make God look cruel (He’s not, by the way) but He does work in ways that are often riddled with pain and seasons of waiting.

I feel as if I’ve been on the longest waiting list and perhaps, I’ve even been skipped.

I’ll be honest, it makes it very hard to see goodness when struggle tops the list. I am a smart lady, I can see when the enemy is sneaking around my turf trying to jam me up and discourage me. Still, I’m all jacked up on trying to be normal and normal just keeps racing far ahead of me.

Maybe, I’m not supposed to ever be normal again. At least, not my kind of normal anyway.

My life feels like it’s in crumbles. Pieces are scattered everywhere. Nothing seems to fit or add up. I just run back & forth like a passerby of a terrible accident trying to help all the bleeding and wounded souls laying around me. No one is getting the attention they need most because I am frantic and overwhelmed.

I can’t make my life right.

It’s too damaged. Too much, too soon.

I pray that this hurt doesn’t follow me forever. Every day that I think I’m okay….another weak spot opens up and I fall in with both feet reminding me that I am broken and in need of serious mending.

Things are a hot mess in my life; our finances are in the biggest uphill battle still, our ONLY CAR is in need of serious repair, my dog is dying and it’s not a pretty or easy journey for her or me, I’m missing my kids, I live in a camper in Montana and winter is a coming, I feel stuck with no job or car… we need a shed built yesterday, my internet (MY ONLY SOURCE OF THE OUTSIDE WORLD!!) is hit or miss and I am secluded from everyone. I don’t even look like me anymore. I get it why mountain people (the poor ones) look so dang homely.

It’s cause, we are h o m e l y!

I want to scream at every beautiful person I see and tell them, I used to be normal like you. I wasn’t always a hag!

In the 4 years that I lived in Zionsville, Indiana…I functioned on a very limited friend list level. It wasn’t until the very end of living there that I had a group of good and close friends. I’ve been here 4 weeks and I have made more friends than I know what to do with. Every week, I’ve been invited to dinner with great people who genuinely want to be a part of my life. God is more generous than I deserve. But, since He’s giving…I AM GOING TO TAKE!

I’ve learned a great lesson in such a time as this, to roll with it and let God do what He’s going to do. In spite of the things that are trying their dangedest to drag me down, I CAN STILL PRAISE HIM!

Worried about more month than money – praise Jesus anyway!

Stressed about a broken car, heart or relationship – praise Jesus anyway!

Lonely, depressed, afraid – praise Jesus anyway!

Emotionally struggling – praise Jesus anyway!

Locked in a hopeless situation – praise Jesus anyway!

I cannot give up and neither can you. When life trashes all we hold dear, God is still working! He is still fighting for us, holding the fragments of our lives together and preparing a way where we can see none. The seasons change from one to the next and life may look different but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

I can’t outrun my troubles. I can’t race ahead and skip all the refining and molding of my heart. As much as I want to. Getting a great job in a fantastic new place does not equal instant back to normal! Everything takes time.

So, while I stand in the muck of my real life problems….


Cinco de Mayo Attacko

Thursday, May 5th, 2016

What is it with me and mornings? And why the heck am I not a millionaire?

lip boo

I woke up like this. Really. See my lip? It looks fairly normal, huh? Well, it’s not! It’s throbbing with the meanest fever blister ever! It started yesterday and snowballed into a real pain in the FACE! In real life, it is UGLY!

So there’s that. Thank you, body. For just one more dig at letting me know who’s in charge here. Clearly, YOU!

lip py

If you notice behind me, it’s only 8:30am. I’ve managed to squeeze in some special moments already today. Let me share…

I woke up early because I really needed to wash my hair. Hair washing in my late 40’s is one of my biggest life changes from my “younger” me days. I rarely do it now compared with my old habit of washing it every single morning. I’m all willy-nilly with the shampoo and blowdry. I’m content with who I am, I suppose and let’s not forget the Lord’s mighty blessing of the messy bun as a FOR REAL hairstyle! I am just staying current, y’all and my hair has never looked so good.

So, anyhoo. Got up, jumped in the shower and lathered up. I almost made it through my shower when I noticed a little chill to the water. I kept on rinsing and it kept on getting colder. How in the world? It’s not even 7am! Then before I could get toothpaste on my toothbrush it was full-on winter’s coming cold!

Cold showers in the early morning, not good. Oh and the lovely Indiana May 5th temp outside, 40 degrees with a very cold breeze. Perfect day for a shower freeze out!

I put on my positive pants and ran downstairs to quickly pack my lunch and make an egg for breakfast. I cooked that egg perfect to my liking and headed back upstairs to eat and get ready. I almost made it up the whole staircase when I tripped and everything flew out of my hands spilling all over the stairs and rug. My slippers went flying, my egg over easy squished everywhere and Ms Lizzy willingly gave of herself to help clean it up. Did I mention my lip is throbbing?

No sense crying over spilled egg. Tell my growling stomach that, will ya?

I managed to get ready without hurting myself or any other creatures around me. I even put on my new bracelet to wear because sometimes a girl just needs to feel fancy.

bracelet mine

Isn’t it pretty? Thanks, Bigmama! It’s Baublebar from Nordstroms! A prezzie to me, from me!

I made it to school, hair “did”, coffee in hand and because some black clouds just won’t go away…. discovered a major plumbing problem in the Art class that I’m working in! Water pouring everywhere and it’s still the beginning of the day!

What else you got Thursday? Come on! I ain’t skeered!

pos pants

I’ll be over here making margaritas lemonade out of lemons (in honor of Cinco de Mayo, of course!) Haha!

Turn It Off

Saturday, November 23rd, 2013

Everybody has those "off" days, right?  At least that's what I keep telling myself.  Yesterday (Friday – my favorite danged day ever), everything I touched turned crazy.

— My phone wouldn't send text messages.

— I covered for someone in a class of monkeys.

— My mouse wouldn't work for my computer.

— I ordered, waited the 1 1/2 hr wait, and paid for a cold pizza.

— I had no volume on my tv because our DVR box had to be replaced and when I tried to get volume I totally wiped out tv altogether.

— I had a slap of reality and felt the full weight of moving.  MY HOUSE IS FULL OF CRAP!

— I stabbed myself (during my sleep) in the nose, so hard with my thumbnail that I cut myself and woke up crying.

Then after doing the only thing I knew to help (sleeping it off for the night)….I woke up to a rockin' stomach situation.  Hey, thanks 800 mg of strong anti-viral meds 5 times a day for THE STINKIN' SHINGLES!!

It's 1:36pm and I still haven't eaten any food.  I have stepped up to the plate and cooked a big pot of veggie soup though.  So, no more feeling sorry for myself.  Even when I go to rub my nose and remember it hurts like a beast.  I'm working on my Thanksgiving grocery list (isn't that ironic) and cleaning up the house that has no kids living in it.  How did it get so messy?  I'll never know.

I feel it's my duty to let you know…we all have those days.  The ones where nothing seems to go right and trouble lurks around every corner.  The good news is that we can certainly learn to laugh about them.  If not, we are going to turn surly and angry and then bitterness will rule our very being.  Since I'm not one that wants to hang out in that category for any longer than necessary I'm looking back at that list of issues and laughing.

Seriously, I stabbed my nose?  What was I doing?  Hand jive?


Friday the 13th? Is That You?

Sunday, July 15th, 2012

I'm not superstitious….at all!  But our trip to Indy on Friday the 13th was a true test of my belief system (not my faith in Christ) just the fact that crazy stuff goes on at weird times. 

It was a wild ride, to say the least.

I've mentioned a time or two that I HAVEN'T LEFT MY HOUSE all summer.  The trip to Tennessee in June (weekend wedding) has been the extent of my traveling journeys.  I was super psyched about going to Indy for the night with my hubby and our girls.  It was a last minute plan.  Our girls had concert tickets for a show on Friday night right downtown…so I thought tagging along and staying at a great hotel in the area would make for a fun weekend.

The girls have been working hard all summer and this was a chance to get-away with them and enjoy ourselves. 

The morning should've been a sign that there was trouble on the horizon.  I learn slow….so no to that idea, mm'k?

–Hubby backed into son's car.  No damage, just a charged up beating heart that got me kick-started into stressin' a little early.

–Drove 35 minutes in the HOTTEST car I've ever ridden in and that was just the first few miles of our trip.  Who knew such a hot ride awaited us?  Hubby spent an hour working on his car in a Walmart parking lot (and if I know him…he was pleading with God to make that sucker work) while the hot afternoon sun beat down on him.  We sat in a Subway restaurant wondering where in the world he was.  Good news–he got it working and off we went!  Whew!

–Interstate crazies!  I kid you not…the traffic was like a scene out of a wild movie.  People were hogging up the left lane, driving slowly and the "lead foot driver's" were weaving in and out of traffic…coming in on you from the right (because everybody knows…they are the only cars on the road that have somewhere to go, right?) nearly causing several accidents.  It was  T E N S E !!

–Missed the turn to head downtown Indy.  Rerouted back through the industrial area.  Then drove around trying to show the girls the way to their concert from our hotel.  It was a bust.  But we tried anyway. I'm learning, some things just have to be experienced on your own. I worry way too much!

–Arrived at our nice expensive hotel and it seemed like total chaos. The valet guys were running around and cars were parked all willy-nilly. This isn't the sort of place where you unload yourself and trudge into the hotel. But that's sort of what we had to do. I don't know why…but this really got under my skin and stressed me out. But, I had no idea what I would face once inside that lobby.

–While hubby is checking us in at the desk, I wait over near the doors. All of the sudden, it was like someone had opened the floodgates of a NFL football game arena. Tall, sweaty boys (young men)…HUNDREDS OF THEM! I am not exaggerating when I say hundreds…came walking across the lobby in droves. All heading to the elevators. Which is where we were heading too. Except they overpowered us and walked all over us. They pushed past us as if we were furniture to get their turn on the elevator. Me nerves? Were frazzled! It took us 20 minutes just to get to our room.

–The plan to enjoy the pool/hot tub while the girls were gone to their concert? Yea, right….did you read that last paragraph? Hundreds of football boys beat us to the punch! frown

The whole day was a challenge. I told my family that I was feeling uber stressed and that I was sorry. I had these big hopes for fun and escape but the craziness of the day seemed to push all that in a corner. Dang my high-strung personality!!

All was not lost.  After the girls left, hubby and I hit the streets.  We shopped around town a little bit and then decided to look for some place to eat dinner.  I knew I needed something a little different than usual and that's when some guy steps out of a bar & grill type place and says, "Hey, we're selling our appetizers for 1/2 price and they feed two people…wanna come in?"

Best decision, all day!  We had a great dinner and were all alone until we finished and started to leave.  The food was great, the service fantastic and the environment soothing!  It was just what I needed to "chill the heck" out!  We walked back to the Marriott our hotel and relaxed for the rest of the night.

We slept in, had Starbucks for breakfast and hit the mall for some shopping!  Oh I almost forgot. Not only was there a NFL football camp for high school boys going on….we were also bombarded with a Cheerleading competition going on closeby.  There must have been a gazillion of the little painted-up-faced girlies with every member of their family running around Indy.  Everywhere we went, cheer girls & their entourage.  We shopped on.

I didn't say we were quitters! 

We ended our day with PF Changs because that's what we love to do when were downtown. Eat lettuce wraps! Worth the wait, cause that's what we had to do. I thought I'd be nice and ask for a booth instead of a table. We waited, we waited and then kept waiting. The hostess tells us WE'RE NEXT and then comes back to say that the manager gave our table away. What are the chances?

Is it me?  hehe!

Ally & Gates riding the luggage rack back downstairs.  We take all opportunities to party.


A pose before they head out to see Vampire Weekend ( a band ).  Which they loved.  Both had a great time and were glad they came.  Me too!


These benches were so cool.  We decided that everyone should decorate their house with cool ottomans and lounge chairs.  It's chic!



What I came home with–It's important NOT to get too worked up over little things.  If you let every little troubling detail invade your mind/heart/feelings eventually you'll be left with disappointment.  Our flesh is mushy and we can't always fight off the garb that comes our way.  God knows this and reminds us in scripture, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart…LEAN NOT ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING…in all your ways, acknowledge HIM and HE WILL MAKE YOUR PATH STRAIGHT" Proverbs 3:5-6.

So next time you plan something exciting…don't set yourself up for stress.  Go with it, trust the Lord to handle the little stuff and HAVE FUN!  Even when some Dukes of Hazzard driver cuts you off.  Smile and wave!  You're going to get where you're going eventually!