Queenies Little Kingdom

I went shopping on Friday with my daughter and it nearly made me sick!  I kept thinking of all the things at my house and how much I want to downsize and clean out the clutter.  I couldn't justify buying anything else to add to my already bulging house.  I blame my mother.

This is one of many beautiful antique pieces of furniture I had to practically give away at my mother's house.  I sold it for $125.  Which turned out to be the common theme of my week there.

Give it away.

I had so many favorite items that I wished I could bring back home.  This old oak hutch made it into my hubby's backseat.

The experience of having to clean out my mother's life in a little more than a week was pretty traumatic.  I know that I will never be the same.  Not regarding losing her and certainly not when it comes to STUFF!

If I were to speak honestly about the situation and I really can't do anything except that….I'd have to label my mother a hoarder.  Her house was so full that when we left it on Saturday night at 11:00pm after selling her belongings all week plus 2 huge yard sale days, it was still full of stuff.  Good stuff.  Some of it items that I wished I could have.  I'm sure that I sold over 12 beautiful cake plates with lids.  Each spot in her house was decorated and her storage room was so packed up it went from the floor….to the ceiling.  The ceilings were 12 feet tall, by the way.

Behind all that clutter is a ton of good stuff.  Furniture, photographs, more dishes than a neighborhood might need and Christmas decorations.  Plus anything else a person might want or need ever.  Seriously!

People came from everywhere.  She knew everyone and each person that came in would say how much they admired her taste and that she always had the most beautiful things.  They also shook their heads and said, "Oh my, YOU have your work cut out for you!".  What most of them didn't know was that we had been working, day & night for the whole week.  The house was small but it held enough furniture & collectibles to satisfy a few other families.

It was probably the most stress I've felt in a long time.

I realized what this stuff must have mattered to her.  It was her life.  This is what made her happy.  Every antique cup & saucer, each beautiful piece of china and all the beautiful furniture, this is what made her feel safe.  She was most comfortable with "stuff".  That's not always a bad thing, really.  Except, that I knew her.  She only displayed it all.  She never used a single thing!  The multiple sets of dishes (16 place servings in each), the cabinets full of very fine china and enough Christmas decorations to beautify several homes made me physically sick.

This is a glimpse of what was left late on Saturday afternoon.  It was at this point that we had to stop.  I called in an auction guy and he bought all that was left in her house for $150.  I wanted to cry but I was too dang tired to bother.

I'm convinced, STUFF WILL KILL YOU!

Stuff will rob you.  It will take your peace away and leave you with an overwhelming feeling of anxiety!  No one can be happy with that much stuff cluttering their life.  I know for certain, no one is happy having to get rid of it all in just a few short days!  Especially in the boiling hot Florida heat.

I brought back home some special items from her house.  I tried to be very picky and extremely thoughtful in what I chose.  The whole situation bothered me so much.  I couldn't take anything that I knew I wouldn't use.  I refuse to live like that.  I watched my mother live a lifetime of holding onto stuff so tightly that she never enjoyed it for what it was.

The lesson for me is to only have what you love and plan to use. Then use it!

What we can all learn?

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I feel the same exact way my furry friend.   How sad that summer break is over in 5 short days!

What happened to all the freedom and fun?

Glass 1/2 full

Glass half full

GLASS HALF FULL, Y'ALL!!

Really, what's 180+ days of hustle & bustle?  Bring it on!

Over the next few days, I'll be running here and yonder trying to handle all the stuff that summer break gives you the time to do.  Hair appointments, dental work, doggy business and shopping!

I'm just grateful that I have a few days left…

I'm doing things I don't want to do and I'm handling stuff that I don't want to handle.  Alone.

I have never felt so by myself before even having my youngest here with me.  The two of us are known in our family for being the "emotional" ones.

I keep thinking back to the moment my mother died.  Both Gates and I started to cry and the nurse who was a seasoned death escort hugged us and reminded us –> THIS IS JUST HOW IT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!

How could she know that I have a very loving and supportive husband back home in Indiana who would never in his life put me in a position of abandonment?  She didn't know anything other than God in His ways does what He does and never makes a mistake.

In just a few minutes I'm going to the funeral home.  I don't want to do it.  Haven't I been through enough?  This whole situation has been the biggest life challenge I've ever experienced and it's far from over.  

Last night I started cleaning out her clothes.  I couldn't look at them hanging there any longer.  I took over 5 large garbage bags to Goodwill and I still have plenty more to go.  My mother loved stuff!  She was happiest surrounded by her things.  She collected everything!  Dishes, antiques, bedding, clothes, furniture, other people's garbage and it's all piled up all over her tiny house.

I don't think I'll ever be finished here.

The lesson I'm choosing to learn most is to be prepared.  Death is near.  For each of us.  Have your life in order….not just your house, bills, insurance & stuff but your spiritual condition.  Be ready.  God only knows when you will leave this earth.  So have your heart ready….and then get all your stuff in order!

It's been one thing after another since I arrived in Florida.  Crazy things keep happening to me (and my poor kid, Gates).  Little inconveniences and big oopsie moments that have widdled away at my sanity which was teetering on the edge of not really there anyway.

I've been trying to just bide my time until my hubby arrived.  He's been known to wear a cape in my eyes.  If something's going to go wrong….he can handle it!

I thought I was holding it all together.  Especially after driving home at 12:30am from my mother's deathbed.  Both Gates and I unloaded the car and locked it up tight.  During the night (around 3am) I was startled awake by a neighbors barking dog and then voices outside.  They were literally yelling right by my car.  I jumped up and peeked out but couldn't see anything.  I could only hear them and finally they went on by.  At the time I worried that they were possibly trying to get into our car.  When I woke up the next day, a friend stopped by and said, "Hey, your car door was standing open!".  Whaaaaaat?

It was on the other side that we couldn't see once we came inside and so clicking the lock….was useless.  The back door was standing open and my bag with my computer, kindle fire, large bills of money and all my most special writing books were sitting right there.  I screamed when I heard it was open.  Gates went out and everything was still sitting right there.

ANGELS!

I'm convinced that the voices were actually angels.  The street my mom lives on is a busy through street for lots of shady types to walk all hours of the day & night.  There is no reason for a crime to have been skipped other than GOD TAKES CARE OF HIS CHILDREN!!  Even when they are in a grief stupor and not watching what they are doing.

This morning, I woke up and opened the front door to go out and move my car to load up our bags.  As I opened it up….I saw that I left the key in the door lock.  All. night. long!

Will I live to see Indiana again?  I'm not so sure.

After all the stress of the last few weeks….I planned a little beach escape for the two of us while we wait for our family to arrive.  On the trip over, the flat tire alarm lit up.  That's hint hint for CHECK THE DANG TIRES!!  We hopped on the interstate (I 75) and within minutes we heard the most horrible noise and I knew….FLAT TIRE!!  A real flat tire.

Here's where I finally cried!

I hated more than anything to call my hubby.  He's already felt like he was on another planet from me and holding us both together long distance has been a full-time job for him.  While he talked me through how to get the tire tools and spare out of the car….another angel walked up.  His name is Dana and with his kind yankee accent asked us if he could help us.  Uhm, yea….dear ANGEL DANA do your thing.  He even had nitro to air up the stinking flat spare.

I cried.  And I cried again.

Up the interstate about a mile or so was an exit.  We pulled off and right there was a Tire Kingdom (that's slang for part of God's Kindgom) where I met Roy.  While I cried, Roy talked to my hubby and made some serious decisions and tons of phone calls to find the world's most amazing tires to fit my hubby's hog of a car.  And then because he's such a nice guy….he said, "Go and eat while I wait on your tires to get here and I'll get you all fixed up!".  He also gave us a great discount on some pretty expensive tires.

I am going to see the beach today and when I get there…..I may not leave.  Or stop crying.

God, 

You have done more than protect me.  You have blanketed me and my heart with the heaviest of care.  Thank you.  Help me hold on and keep it together.  The circumstances are almost comical and I thank you that I can laugh in spite of how serious each issue has been.

Amen