I'm never going to claim professional mom status here because the obvious truth is that I'm a work in progress just like every other mom out there. But after many years of doing the mothering to three human beings that didn't get a choice on the mom draw…I'd like to believe that I've learned a thing or two about what kids really need from a mama.
Kids need…
Unconditional love — Kids are very intuitive, they understand when someone is just playing the part. Showing affection and genuine love to them is important for many reasons. It builds confidence, gives assurance and fills their hearts with a love that can only come from a mother. Loving a child based on how well they behave or perform creates a superficial foundation for them and leaves them with a false sense of care. Real love equals real security!
Quality time — So many moms are barely scraping by thanks to the busyness of life. It's one of the most common complaints of every family. Spending time with kids is important because that's when memories are made and when investment in who they are takes place. Give up a little and the reward will come back to you. (I promise!)
Forgiveness — No kid can handle the cloud of unforgiveness hanging over them and parents can be the best at holding a grudge. Give up the frustration & disappointment that can come from mothering HUMAN BEINGS who make mistakes and fall short. Let them off the hook as often as possible.
Sillyness — Being a mom isn't one big fun-fest every day. But it can come pretty close if you find the funny in rotten situations. Life is sometimes too serious and when that happens surprise your kids by doing something you know will crack them up. Laughter can fill a heart faster than an Icee causes brainfreeze!
Trust/Honesty — Telling little white lies or twisting the truth adds up in a kids heart. It teaches them mistrust and places them in a vacuum of unsurity. Be honest with your kids and help them do the same. Never allow lying from them and make that the rule for yourself. Just like you…they know when they're being lied to.
Direction — Guiding a child seems like a normal part of parenting but you'd be surprised at how many parents drop the ball here. They let society, tv, schools, relatives….whoever will take the reins do the leading when it comes to their kids. Sadly, our society is a mess due to this kind of neglect. Kids need a mom to direct them in pretty much all situations. Every day.
Physical touch — It doesn't matter how many times they pull away from you….keep reaching towards them! They might act like they don't want your affection but they do. Love them with all your might and never miss a chance to show it with hugs, back rubs, hair massages & tickles! Imagine never ever being touched. The body hungers after it. Show your kids how you feel.
Discipline — Too many moms are skipping consequences for wrong choices with their kids. The results of doing so are costly. Kids are making bad decisions and many times it is directly linked to permissive parenting (letting them get away with poor behavior while growing up). Don't be afraid to punish your kids. They will learn to do what's right….or die trying! This will one day be proven as a big positive in the final outcome of your child! I promise!
Godly example — It's one thing to teach your kids to love God but quite another to show them through your example what living for Christ looks like. Kids know when you're faking it and learn to do just the same. Be genuine in your relationship with God and your kids will too.
Acceptance — I saved this one for last because I believe it to be one of the most important things a mom can do for her kids. As a mom of 3 kids I can say that each one is different even though they have some similarities. I love each one for their uniqueness and I see something incredible in all three of them. I accept them the way they are….and I never try to compare them to anyone else. Moms have a great advantage over any other human being in their childs life….they are THE ONLY ONE who will love them no matter what they look like, act like or think like!
I'm blown away that God blessed me the way He did when He gave me kids. I believe I got the best ones out there. Hopefully every mom feels that way. I wanted to be a good mom my whole life and I purposefully made it my mission to give them all of me every day of their lives. Today as I celebrate being a mom with my family……I praise God for the privilege of a loving family! I'm blessed and I hope they feel the same!
