Posts Tagged ‘loss’

The First 3 Rows

Monday, June 25th, 2018

If I were to ask you, “What are you doing with your life?” right this moment….how would you answer? Let me ask it another way, What are you living for? What gets you up out of bed and pushes you to do what you do? Why are you doing it? Are you simply on the treadmill of life, working a job every day…paying bills, waiting for that call to glory?

I only ask because so often many of us get trapped in this cycle of repetition and lose focus on the stuff that really matters in life.

As a woman, I’ve definitely relied on what the world has conditioned me to think was important for me and my life. I followed a plan. Not too risky, not too pathetic but just right as to not be judged or ridiculed by what society says is a worthy style of living. You know, tip-toe carefully around really living out loud.

Who wants to step on anyone’s toes? Not me.

From a graveside, I heard a gentleman describe his life in 10 year chunks. He was reflecting back on his relationship with his mother. She had been dead 10 years at this point and he reminisced about what life looked like when she was alive. He was B U S Y! He was on the hustle. He worked very long hours, he met with tons of clients and he spent hours on the phone with people who really have no connection to him or his life other than work. As he thought back, he realized most every person from that time period of his life were completely gone from his life. As in, no longer associated with through work or otherwise. They were gone. Not gone as in death, just gone. Many aren’t even in business anymore.

The person who mattered most to him during that time, his mother….she was gone too. Breast cancer ravaged her body and she passed away when he was 31 years old. He admits, he spent time with her and called her on the regular but many of those instances, he was pre-occupied or on the phone talking work. She always loved his visits, enjoyed every bit of him when he was around and was certainly understanding of work stuff.

Probably like many of you & me.

Work is work. It hogs up time. But, geez…we have to work. Bills don’t pay themselves. Not many of us are rolling around in dollar bills that afford us to just do whatever we want every day.

Truthfully? Even if we were able to do that, many of us would choose other things over the most important people in our lives anyway.

Imagine with me, if you passed away today….look at the first 3 rows of people sitting at your funeral. Who are they? Why are they there? Did you love them well? Did you give them your undivided attention and time? Do they know how much you loved them? Did you push them aside to chase other things? Things that don’t matter so much now?

I will tell you, the last 2 years of my life have given me such a different perspective on life. I never realized how much I took for granted until it was slowly yanked away. For me, no one I love passed away….only a job loss. Through that process, I’ve come to value the people in my life much more carefully than the pretty house, porch….flowers and freedom I once thought was so great.

Don’t misunderstand, stuff isn’t bad and neither is working hard a negative thing. Scripture is clear that we are to work and earn what we get in this life. The people in our lives, deserve to know how much we love them.

I see clearly the people in the first 3 rows of my life & death. They are there because of me. They loved me and I will make it my priority to make sure they know of my love for them. All the things of this world will pass away, so will the people. How well you and I love, how we’ve made others feel and the time we’ve invested will not fade away.

6 ways to show your first 3 rows people you love them:

1. Give them your time.

2. Be trustworthy.

3. Allow room for faults.

4. Speak up. Say meaningful words.

5. Forgive quickly.

6. Hug and hold tight. Physical touch is powerful.

I’m here on this earth for a reason. Help me to show YOUR LOVE and my own love to everyone you place in my path.

Insurance for Life

Monday, August 31st, 2015

WARNING: Touchy subject ahead.

For the last few months my hubby has been in a sort of negotiation situation with a new life insurance company. At 48, (we know) the reality is that anything can happen at anytime and being prepared is the only way for true peace of mind.

Except, it’s pretty unnerving to do such a task and not feel weirdly emotional about it. Who wants to plan for death? No one, that’s who. People are irreplaceable and there is no amount of money that can bring them back or take away the pain of their loss.

For me (and many others like me), I wouldn’t be able to pay my current bills (since I have no real job) if my husband suddenly passed away. Not a good position to be in, yet it is my real life situation. For the last 10 or so years, I’ve felt secure knowing he had a policy in place to help us (our kids and me) get back on our feet for a period of time if something happened. But, that policy ran its course and we were left with nothing. Nada. Hence, the new policy shopping.

Picking a dollar amount that will sustain the person left behind can be grueling and awkward. In my thinking, since I’m a bit out of the dating and marrying age….I’m looking at living alone and on my own for a long time. My husband’s salary is a bit out of reach for me and the debt, mortgage and more is enough to throw me into a deep depression. Insurance offers a comfort that cannot be taken away even when our loved one has.

After the death of my mother, I see how important being prepared for the ones left behind really is. Nothing was in place and it left me scrambling. The stress of losing her was overshadowed by all the many real life details left for me to figure out after she was gone. Her house, her belongings, her bills….and more overwhelmed me and my family. Life insurance would have prevented a lot of the stress and a plan could have helped me navigate through all the little details. I didn’t have room for choices and I didn’t have time to think through a big plan after the fact. I just had to do what I could and leave it at that. It was painful.

So, in light of what you know…. are you prepared? Is your family covered by an insurance policy? Do you live thinking, “It won’t happen to me?”. I hope not. This past weekend, my Florida family buried a young husband and father who died suddenly without warning from a heart-attack at 34. No one is promised another day. Not being prepared is terrible planning on our part.

Do yourself and your loved ones the honor of having your life and death in order. Nothing can bring you or me back…..but taking care of them financially is a loving legacy to leave behind.

Grace is the Word

Thursday, September 19th, 2013

I had no idea what was ahead of me at the beginning of this year….when I claimed MY WORD for 2013. No way could I have imagined all that would take place; the changes, the loss….the new, the sadness and most of all the chronic need for GRACE.

Time after time over the last 9 months circumstances have sent me banging on heaven's doors in search of His grace. Each time, I found it there. His grace is sufficient for me. This morning I opened up Beth Moore's blog to find the most beautiful example of GRACE I've ever read. Words that hold power and warmth….words that fill up and replace empty….words that prove GRACE is real! Real for me and real for you. (Thank you Ms Beth – I love your heart)

I'm sharing her words and linking to her post –> GRACE


Grace is an inflated raft that can submerge to the floor of a sea to save you.

Grace is the silver thread that stitches up the shreds of mangled souls.

Grace is the eye that finds us where it refuses, there, to leave us.

Grace calls the waitress to the table and sits her down to wash her feet.

Grace sees underneath the manhole on a street of self-destruction.

Grace is the air to draw a breath in the belly of a whale.

Grace is the courage to stand in the shamed wake of a frightful falling.

Grace is the only fire hot enough to burn down a living hell.

Grace waits with healing in His wings when we’re too mad to pray.

Grace is the gravity that pulls us from depravity.

Grace races us to the Throne when we make haste to repent and always outruns us.

Grace treats us like we already are what we fear we’ll never become.

Grace is the doorpost dripping red when the angel of death grips the knob.

Grace is the stamp that says Ransomed on a life that screams Ruined.

Grace sets a table before me in the presence of my enemy even when my enemy is me.

Grace is the cloak that covers the naked and the palm that drops the rock.

Grace is divine power burgeoning in the absence of all strength.

Grace proves God true and every self-made man a liar for the sake of his own soul.

Grace is the power to do what we cannot do for the Name of Christ to go where it has not been.

Grace is a room of a thousand mirrors, all reflecting the face of Christ.


Grace is…

The eye popping

Knee dropping


Earth quaking

Pride breaking


Dark stabbing

Heart grabbing


Friend mending

Mind bending


Lame walking

Mute talking


Slave freeing

Devil fleeing


Death tolling

Stone rolling


Veil tearing

Glory flaring


Chin lifting

Sin sifting


Dirt bleaching

World reaching


Past covering

Spirit hovering


Child defending

Happy ending


Heaven glancing

Feet dancing…


Power of the Cross.



Jesus Christ, Grace Incarnate.

Copyright 2013 Beth Moore

Yes.  It is.  Grace, it's all over me and it's all over you because of Him.  Don't let this world tell you otherwise.  Jesus knows how much to give and He lavishes it on each of us….when we need it most.

Just you wait and see.

found grace

In Memory of Bill Morgan

Tuesday, November 22nd, 2011

I went to sleep with a heavy heart last night. That’s what happens when late night calls deliver sad news. For a family spread across the entire USA….news of a loved one’s death stings even a little harder than normal. The best way to describe it is helplessness. It’s hard to be over a thousand miles away when something like this happens.

Family needs family.

He was a devoted husband, a great father, a loving brother and so much more to all who knew him. In the 23 years that I’ve been a part of this family…I’ve never heard one negative thing about him. William (Bill) Morgan was the oldest son of Earl & Marie Morgan. I know him as my mother-in-law’s big brother. She tells stories of how they used to hang out with the same crowd growing up (much like my own 3 kids do now).

Over the years, the funny stories filled with Morgan shenanigans mostly stemmed from his ideas. He had a way of finding the fun or the funny in life. Anytime I was ever around him, he was smiling and making someone laugh. He was a happy person (no matter what life handed him) who made those around him feel joyful too. He passed that joy onto his kids.

Bill loved doing things with his family. I’ve heard so many times of how he would come home from work and play games with his kids. If you’re a parent, you know how hard it is to feel like playing around after a long day of work. Bill didn’t miss those chances with his kids. He made many memories that his kids will never forget. He helped mold them into the people they are today and they are each amazing people. He was so proud of them and they knew it.

I’m thankful for the family I’ve married into. They are special in so many ways. They’ve taught me a lot in terms of love, forgiveness and acceptance. It’s a blessing to be a part of such a legacy. It’s an honor to have known such a special man and uncle as Bill Morgan. May he be remembered by all who knew him.

I pray your peace fills my family now. The miles between us feel so far but your love and care is everywhere. Bless them as they make decisions and honor their Dad. Thank you for sharing him with our family.

Tom (youngest), Bill & Mary