Posts Tagged ‘God’

Fill the Gap

Monday, November 12th, 2018

I had to give my testimony yesterday at church. It was in private with 2 very thoughtful and gentle men, who serve to recommend new members to the committee. It’s important to know who you are joining ranks with, honestly. For them and for me (us). God’s work is and should be the highest calling on our life. I want to be in a church who serves and obeys HIM and I’m glad to know they want a heart like mine to do what my gifts allow in their church too!

Win win.

I cried during my testimony because I am an emotional human. Before and after, throughout my whole life. A bundle of emotions. My story isn’t sweet or easy. It’s complicated and sometimes really ugly. While I didn’t go into every detail just how ugly, both men were very kind to listen and love just the same.

The truth is, I am a miracle. My life is one to point straight to Christ for saving me out of the miry pit and putting me on a path of righteousness. I didn’t grow up in a Christian home. It was never important to love God. So, when I found out just how much God loved me….. I RAN DOWN THAT ALTER!

Fast forward and you see my life has always been strategically patterned by God. Even the toughest times, He offered grace and mercy to push me forward in love. During my testimony, both my hubby and I had to admit…WE DO NOT KNOW WHY God has sent us to Montana. But we know He has a plan and He wants to use us here. Our ministry is alive and well. This church needs us as much as we need them.

While I wonder why I’m so far from family and loved ones….

God has provided some GIANTS to stand in the gap. People that love us in spite of us (which is the case for everyone back home too!). I told my hubby on Saturday that I cannot understand a love like we’ve been shown FROM STRANGERS (who are all now friends, of course!) that care for us, even knowing we have nothing to offer them back!

They are a gift from God. These good people who God sent to stand in the gap for me. I love them and I love Him for loving me that much to use them in my life!

I LOVE MY NEW LIFE IN MONTANA! I will get back to normal, some day.

Lord,
You are all-knowing and all-powerful. There’s NOTHING you cannot do or won’t do to show your love. Thank you for the ones you’ve sent to stand in the gap for Don and me. We are so loved, through your children in Montana.
Amen

Noisy Days

Tuesday, February 6th, 2018

I can only describe what I know about my own experience with God and how He works in my life, I could never say what He will do in yours or anyone else’s. What I’ve noticed lately is that there are quiet days and noisy ones.

Truthfully, the quiet days seem to far outweigh all the noisy ones.

Quiet days are the ones where I feel not much is happening. I sit, I listen and I wait.

Noisy days are the ones that God bangs the gong of my life loudly, not just for me to hear…but anyone whose within a world of me can probably hear as well.

Yesterday, was so noisy!

I had a big medical situation to take care of and BOOOOOOM!!! God opened the door (a big squeaky noisy door) and I walked right through as he held it open.

I checked the mail and in it were 2 (NOT 1 but 2!!!) envelopes from 2 very godly praying women that love my family so much that they allowed God to work through them with a BANGING LOUD financial gift.

What? I hear you, Jesus!

A potential issue with negotiations in our house sell tormented us yesterday. Even with all my assurance that it was not a big deal, my hubby stressed. This morning I opened the door and a lady said, “I want your house!”. “If your sale doesn’t go through, my husband and I want to buy it!”

Lord,
Your noise is like a choir of angels to my tiny crumbly heart! Thank you for the quiet simple days that you just love on me and let me be. But, also thank you for the loud noisy days where I know there is no other reason for something to go right – except that it is YOU!
Amen

PS – Just to be clear. My house has sold. No one is backing out of the deal. If you’ve ever sold a home then you know…..it is hard work and lots of back & forth. We’re just back & forth’n right now and all of our raw 18 month nerves tend to be uber sensitive to any questioning or whathaveyou.

Thank you reader friends! For loving, praying and encouraging! Over & over!

Good People

Saturday, January 27th, 2018

Let me tell you what I’ve learned about people — They can be incredible or they can be totally horrible. I’ve ridden the bus of despair this last year. I’ve never been so needy of all the things people get needy for when life runs off the rails as I have this year.

People have saved me.

Just when I was at the end of my rope with sadness or hopelessness, God would send someone to love or encourage me. He is so good! I’m living proof that God gives a rip about every detail of our lives. Every little struggle, I’ve had help of some sort. Every time I thought my heart couldn’t take one more thing….someone would send a message, a card…..text or phone call.

I thank God for every friend & family member who invested in me this last 18 months. What a real drag it is to be strapped with a friend writing her own LAMENTATIONS! Seriously. Why are y’all my people?

The same goes for my husband. That guy has been hurtin! This whole job loss has nearly done him in. Let me tell you how hard that is to watch.

IT

IS

HARD

Still, people have encouraged him. Believed in him. Called him. Messaged him. So many have prayed, prayed and then kept on praying for him.

We are so not worthy of all the love. Never, in a million years will we ever be able to repay the people in our lives who have banged on heavens doors and just loved us in our rotten broken state. The lessons we’ve learned are endless throughout this journey and we promise to NOT WASTE a single one.

We will pass it on.

What kind of people do you have in your life?

I only ask because when the going gets tough….you will need strong & dedicated people in your life to hold you up and keep you from going under. Find them, love them and do not let them go! And don’t forget, be that kind of person to the people who need it in your life!

When God Isn’t Your God

Thursday, February 23rd, 2017

I get so fed up with the garbage I see all around me. Just today, I watched a video of a BRAVE teenager speaking out against an article published on Teen Vogue about gift ideas for the friend whose had an abortion.

What the?

Seriously! World, stoooooooooooop!

stand up rights

Look, when a teenager has more human decency than an adult writer blabbing about disgusting gift ideas to help cheer on the brave person who killed her baby – we catch a glimpse of a world that STILL HAS HOPE!

The world needs more Autumn’s in it. God give us more young men & women who see wrong for what it is, wrong!

I can’t get all in a tizzy! The world is just acting like the world and the people who walk and talk and write garbage such as that don’t know and love the God that I do. The God who created this world and all the people in it doesn’t accept abortion as an answer. However, He will repeatedly wrap His loving and forgiving arms around the person who chooses it, every time they come to Him for mercy.

My biggest issue with understanding how people justify their choices, lifestyles and lack of beliefs links directly to their faith or lack thereof.

See, a lot of people say they believe in God. A lot of people claim to be “Christian” and yet live like hell. Or better than that, live exactly however the heck they want to live. You know, as if there are NO CONSEQUENCES for their choices.

choose it

Here’s the dirty low-down. Not everyone who says they love God genuinely loves God. They love the idea of God. Otherwise, they’d live their lives completely different. It’s just a fact. Choosing to follow Christ with your whole heart and life is a huge decision. It’s a costly one too. Choosing to obey God and His rules (His Word) for your life will cause people to walk away. It will end relationships.

Being a Christian in today’s world is to risk being called every foul name in the book. Have you turned on the tv lately or scrolled through your Facebook or Twitter feed? Even your “friends” are making fun of believers and lovers of Jesus. Publicly admitting that you are a Christian can get you practically beat up these days.

So, why do your friends and mine act so vehemently ugly over yours/my faith? Because they haven’t experienced the Saul to Paul encounter with Him that’s changed their heart. For them, faith is a weak & unnecessary crutch that holds back real progress. They believe more in the world and it’s ever-changing hot topic agendas than a God who saves and will return someday for the faithful of this earth.

They’re just acting like humans. God isn’t their God, they’re the only God they need.

authority

Link to the video of Autumn the brave young teen who has the courage to call abortion wrong. Go HERE!

Authenticity

Wednesday, August 3rd, 2016

I’m about to get personal.

I know, I always do. It’s my nature to let it all hang out and this post has been rattling around in my heart for years. Like, seriously. A long time.

Before I go any further, I have to tell you….I’m deeply indebted to so many people that have walked alongside me in my faith path. I’m not where I should be, but I am certainly trying to get where God wants me to be. Every day.

In my teen years when my heart was pliable and mold-able, some really dedicated leaders loved on me and helped plant the Love of Jesus in my heart. It worked. I fell hard and in my own foolish ignorance, bumbled around trying to figure out just how to do this Christian believer lifestyle. I lived in a house of unsaved people. Following Jesus was going to be really tricky. Plus, I was a brand new Christian. I didn’t know how to be Christ-like. So, I joined the ranks of other followers and did what they did. Talked like they talked. Acted like they acted.

DANGEROUS. SHEEP-LIKE. NORMAL.

Fast-forward many years. I met a guy, he loved Jesus and we fell in love. We walked the aisle, said, “I do!” and started our happily ever after. Kids came along and we thought we were doing all that God required of us to live a happy and blessed life.

Then, we got restless. We started to wander. Life as we knew it didn’t feel complete. Something needed to happen. So, we hooked our wagon to seminary and took off for the ministry.

My first few weeks at Bible college were filled with anxious thoughts. Not thoughts of – did we make a mistake? But, thoughts of – What am I doing here? I’m a tiny little baby Christian and I don’t know anything about this great big God. I’m weak. I’m naive. I’m simple. I’m not Bible savvy. I’m just a normal gal.

It seemed like every person I met had a super power of Bible knowledge and I was way behind the curve. I prayed for God to help me not feel so insecure. I knew what I needed to do to change that was study God’s Word. So, I did that with a house full of babes. I read my Bible and I studied every lesson I could find. God provided other women for me to lean on and grow alongside while I was there. Those friendships are still solid and longstanding because they were genuine and linked to a common desire – to know and love God more.

They were authentic.

We left seminary because that’s what happens. God sends you out to do THE WORK of ministry. We were warned. We were cautioned as to what REAL LIFE could and would do to our fragile egos and ministry muscles. Like an obstacle course of Jesus Ninja Warrior, the real ministry trenches challenge you. Just when you think you’ve made it to the buzzer goal, you slip and fall. Ministry life bruises you and knocks you around. It leaves marks on your heart and mind that take a long time to heal. It feels like it’s going to kill you some days. It’s also amazing.

And that’s just what ministry is like in the American church. Don’t even get me started about crossing an international line of safety. That’s hard work. That’s hard living. That’s struggle. My life, not even worth comparing to the missionaries of this world. God, love them hard.

We didn’t stay long. We slipped out, quietly around year 10. Something we were warned would happen. Ministers leave the church and its people at record numbers. Churches are unhealthy and so are some in ministry. We’ve seen both. Sadly, we’ve experienced hurting churches and deeply hurting leaders. Satan has tricked and trampled many and continues to wreak havoc on those trying to live for Christ. We weren’t any better.

It’s been about 8 years since my hubby was called Pastor and our kids PK’s. We’ve missed it and then we’ve boasted at how we made it out alive (barely). I have no clue if we’ll ever go back or why we ever would (except, Jesus). I just know, that the past I’ve lived has jaded me.

I long for authenticity.

No matter where we’ve lived or what jobs we’ve worked, I have searched for those that are genuinely sold out for Christ. Oh, there are plenty who call themselves followers or Christians. But the ones who are truly authentic have been rare. Why? I don’t know. I used to think that I was just from another planet. Not literally, but culturally. The south is known as the Bible Belt and just about everyone I know…loves Jesus. Moving north felt a little like I was leaving behind the open trust of living out loud for the Lord.

Honestly, it felt like most people were ashamed of loving Jesus. Like, it was something to keep a secret. Or to yourself.

So, I fell into that hush hush society behavior too. And I felt miserable.

Christians do a great job of being so-so. Me included.

I love God. I am totally His. I don’t have anything to lose for loving Him and yet…..I live like I don’t even know Him some days. I’m ashamed.

He is never ashamed of me, ever.

auth

This topic is heavy, I know. Who wants to fess up to being a lukewarm Christian? I’ve been one and I’ve let my faith sit stagnant on a back burner for too long. Thankfully, Jesus doesn’t offer rest to His children who wander aimlessly. He lovingly allows discomfort and even misery to keep us linked to Him and our true calling in this janked up world. (Welcome, Holy Spirit)

Thank you, Lord.

Here’s what I want you to know – I am just like you. I’m selfish, greedy, foolish, quick to judge, easily angered, wishy-washy, broken, needy and full of myself. I brag about my guaranteed spot in the Kingdom and still I fall flat on my face when it comes to sharing the Gospel. I live with all the blessings God has to offer and I miss out on a million chances to be the face of Jesus to a hurting world. I do a great job of living FOR WANDA!!

And when life gets rocky….. I cry out for help, from G O D !

I’m pathetic. I’m exactly the opposite of what I want in others around me, AUTHENTIC! I want real and I want to be real, to myself….to God and to those around me.

The reality? I can’t do that on my own. I will more than likely fall short. I’ll mess up. I’ll break in two and that’s okay. The Christian faith is a journey.

I’m dedicated to being authentic. Please be patient with me while God works and continues to mold me into the person He wants me to be.

be God