Sighing in the Darkness

July 27th, 2016

dark start

I’m not sleeping well. It seems as though Satan uses the darkness of night to really sneak up on me and remind me of all the trouble that can come from not having a full-time job offer in the works.

What a connection, huh? Darkness….Satan? It’s like they go together in every way.

I can’t answer as to why my mind gets so restless at night. Perhaps, it’s because when we finally slow down the reality of being jobless blankets over us both. Some night’s the weight of it feels almost unbearable. I say “both” because I noticed lately that my husband (who usually falls right to sleep) has developed a new habit of sighing over & over before he finally drifts off.

Darkness isn’t always a bad place. Good things happen there too. Good rest, connection to the one you love…..quiet thoughts and still moments. Yet, when we’re struggling to trust…..darkness can be used as an awful weapon against us.

trust in darkness

Everything is going to be okay. That’s what I keep telling myself. This life, the life we’ve built in this new town….is not the end. Something great is ahead. In spite of what someone might have decided for us, God is at work! He has something even better in mind. His good & holy kind of better.

I’d rather be somewhere in HIS WILL than in my own someplace comfy. Any day.

2 tim 1 7

Here’s to trusting God in all the dark moments. 2 Timothy is not messing around when it says FEAR DOESN’T COME FROM GOD. I know this…..I believe this and I pray away all the sighs in the night.

God,
I believe you when you say – TRUST ME. I believe you see all the unknown could be’s in my life and you have everything under control. Help me see what you see.
Amen

Time in a Bottle

July 26th, 2016

I feel like I need to put all my happy moments in a bottle.

grate

In spite of all the desperation going on in my life right now…..I do have a lot of happy to be thankful for as well.

Dinesh movie

My oldest is home (temporarily, because…..he’s unemployed too) and that gives me time with him that I’d normally not have now that he lives in Texas.

He’s diligently searching and working hard at a friend’s landscaping business (it is record hot here right now!) while he’s in town. But, having him here is a huge blessing to my heart. I love spending time with my kids! I’ll need a huge bottle to hold all these memories!

sunroof

They never think it’s weird to do crazy things with their old parents. Or when I hang out of my sunroof in the mexican restaurant drive-thru….they aren’t even embarrassed. This deserves to go in all our bottles!

Right kids?

dogs

Having Gracie home is special too. The girl is a lover! She’s so sweet and she isn’t afraid to let you know how she feels. Bottling it, every moment with her.

boarding

She likes to do fun stuff too. She kayaks, skateboards…jeeps it up and loves a good couch snuggle. Yesterday, I went by their room to let her out and couldn’t find her. I called her name then noticed the covers wrestling around and she popped out like a jack-in-the-box. She is a fun dog! Sticking that memory in my bottle!

blue

Here in Indy, another policeman was shot. It’s getting to the point that every time I see a newsflash I think it can’t be happening AGAIN. But, it is. Our world has gone crazy. God bless our brave police! My family’s house shines up with support for those who live and die protecting us. Into the bottle this goes!

lizzy ghost

I was vainly trying to take a bathroom mirror selfie recently when I realized I had company. Miss Lizzy is a loyal gal. She sticks with me like a true best friend. I love seeing her sweet little face in the middle of my picture. That belongs in my bottle, for certain.

Troubled times are inevitable because life is full of ups & downs. I want to hang on to all of it. The hard moments fill my tank just like the easy ones. Both work in my spirit. I’m strong, I’m healthy and I’m going to survive the stress of the unknown.

In the meantime, I’m going to pour all my happy moments in a bottle to hold onto for the times when I feel too overwhelmed to see the good.

God has this

Ignorance is Really Bliss

July 19th, 2016

I woke up this morning to the many shouts of poor stupid speech stealing Melania plagiarizing her speech last night from our dear First Lady, Michelle O.

Bless.

Can we just talk about that dress? Her dress was bonkers!! I have a sick obsession with all things white and when she walked out after The Donald’s spacey cool entrance…..I was like, I wanna be her sisterfriend!!!

She was stunning!

melania dress

I can’t even…

kap w

But, really. Being a First Lady is way more than wearing fancy designer dresses, right? Right, Michelle O? Oh, well…..whatever.

mi ob
Yeowtch! $12,000 dollhairs? Wowzers!!

I’m just going to jump right into some of the most ignorant rants I’ve heard for hating Governor Pence (my current Indiana Governor, who is despised by many….educators, gays, non-believers, ticked-off people and more). The guy The Donald has chosen to run on the VP ticket alongside him. Oh, you know…what’s his face Pence?

1. Governor Pence is bad for women because he crusades against abortion.

Wow, he hates women. The nerve! He hates the murdering of unborn children. Again, that’s a rough truth when it comes to crusading for the rights of the unborn. This argument is so over the top ignorant it just boils my blood. Please stop equating hating women with being a person who values life. All life! Thank God for leaders like Mike Pence who believe in protecting the innocent in this world who don’t get a choice – like the woman who finds herself in an unwanted pregnancy does.

2. Governor Pence is to blame for the HIV uprising all because he shot down Planned Parenthood and all their free medical testing/treatments.

COME ON!!! Here we are again! It is a fact that Mike Pence was not after shutting down freebie tests for HIV but to stop abortion! The outbreak of HIV in Scott County has nothing to do with Gov. Pence (but, okay bigmouths!! Shout it loud!). The claim that innocent folks just trying to get tested can’t now because he shut down the PP clinics is incredibly ignorant. The truth is DRUG USE IS OFF THE CHARTS IN THAT COUNTY!!! Look it up! And to claim no one has access to testing….insane! They have a clinic FOR FREE and they also do a clean needle exchange, that’s how freaking bad the epidemic of drug use is there! They will GIVE JUNKIES FREE CLEAN NEEDLES just to keep them from having sex FOR DRUGS and using more dirty needles. Sweet Lord! People, really!!!!

3. Governor Pence supports gun ownership therefore, he’s bad for women.

Okay, I’m a 2nd Amendment person. I will fight to the death to keep guns in the hands of the right people and out of the hands of criminals. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE! He is quoted as saying, “I truly believe that firearms in the hands of law abiding citizen’s makes our families and our communities more safe, not less safe.” I couldn’t agree more. No thank you, left-wing wackos who think MORE GUN CONTROL will stop all the violence in America. No thank you! I’ll stick with Gov. Pence on this one a hundred times over!

4. Governor Pence discriminates against gays.

This is one of my favorites!!! I mean, I get giddy when I hear this one because….I G N O R A N C E is bliss!! Just a joy! The RFRA has nothing to do with allowing pie makers to discriminate against a gay couple trying to order a strawberry rhubarb pie and everything to do with standing up to the GOVERNMENT regarding religious liberties. —> Religious liberty — having the freedom to determine truth without government force!!! RFRA was put together (authored) by Chuck Schumer and let me remind the whole flipping world, signed by President Bill Clinton (you know, Hillary’s old man) in 1993. This ain’t no new bill meant to stop gays from eating at christian pizza places! This horrible bill prevents the GOVERNMENT from punishing Americans for having a belief and being sued for said belief. That’s so far from what the media and the L E F T want you to know or think. They love to cry conservatives hate gays! It’s like their favorite mantra, right up there with abortion rights!! Isn’t that special?

5. Governor Pence pokes his nose in education in Indiana and he’s an idiot!

It’s no lie, Mike Pence is a Republican and Glenda Ritz a democrat. They do not see eye-to-eye on much, politically. But, perhaps they do have THE CHILDREN at the core of the reasons they fight like cats & dogs over every little thing in Indiana. I have no dog in this hunt (the education war) but I see many of my friends posting angry Pence hating posts all the time and I love most of them (Ahem, the people not their posts)….but, really! Is he that evil? He believes in SCHOOL CHOICE (yay), cracking down on State testing crap (woohoo), providing career & technical opportunities for students who DO NOT WANT TO GO TO COLLEGE (hot dang!!), free pre-school for lower income children. What a horrible man! The feud between he & Mrs. Ritz has been on-going and at times embarrassing. Do I believe he’s spotless or free from any missteps or mistakes? Probably not. Do I think he’s trying to do good things for education in Indiana? Yes, yes I do. But, like every single facet of this American life….it’s always best to just fight over every single thing! I’m offended, you’re offended….we are all offended! Give me my power! I want my power! Ridiculous! How about we give our students the best danged education Indiana money can buy and shut the stink up!

Look, Donald Trump is not my choice as a candidate. I didn’t pick him (Sorry, Aunt Pat!). But he is my choice now. I have to do my part in stopping a lying, criminal, murdering, disgusting & horrible woman like Hillary Clinton from ever living in the White House again. I will be clicking that Trump/Pence ticket in November and I will do it with full confidence that I have made the better choice for my country. I’m over our current governmental condition. Our country is on life support! We need help! And we need it soon!

I’m thankful for the good qualities in Mike Pence – he is a Christian who loves God and isn’t afraid to stand up for what scripture teaches. That’s the line though for many…..loving Christ and choosing to believe His Word is Truth is a taboo thing in our world today.

Tell that to Jesus. He’s still on His throne. Whether (we) believe He is or not.

Trailer Trash

July 18th, 2016

pink camper

I’m a sucker for a pink camper. Call me crazy, I don’t care! If I could get my hot little hands on an old vintage camper, I would be one happy camper!

camp r

I know, I know….PINK?

YES!

pink bab

How can you not want to throw your clothes in one of these and hit the road? It’s perfect!

perf pinky

I’ve got all sorts of great places to visit. I’ve just got to find my pink baby to set the dream in motion.

hot pinky

Imagine all the looky loos…. There’s no way anybody is pulling one of these pink beauties without some stares.

I don’t mind. I find staring somewhat complimentary.

love thi

I’ve almost convinced my hubby that finding a vintage camper is a great idea. Yea, he lets me dream! I love that guy!

my pink dream

For the love….I better stop it! My head is spinning with ideas! I seriously have other things to do today besides googling vintage campers. Seriously.

I need lunch and I need to get busy posting items to my closet on Poshmark! Have you heard of Poshmark? It’s the greatest online resale shop ever! See my sidebar? My store link is right there. Head over, look at my things and shop all the other sellers. Poshmark is safe and efficient online shopping at a fraction of the cost.

So, I’m walking away from the pink trailers and getting back to work!

HAPPY MONDAY!!

Everything Heals

July 15th, 2016

heals

I’m a firm believer in IF YOU’RE GOING THROUGH HELL…..KEEP ON GOING!! So, while I’m down in the dumps about my family’s future it’s only fitting that I feel all the feels handed down by our Lord Jesus in the form of medical procedures.

So far this week……I have done the following:

booby

Why, yes. That is a Mammogram machine! In all the years of having this procedure, this one was the jewel in my crown. I could barely move in bed later that night I was so sore.

But, hey….it’s D O N E !!

Next, I waltzed my freckles and old lady spots into the Dermatologist. There I prayed for ONLY GOOD NEWS because, ya know…FLORIDA GIRL! I’ve had more sunburns than the cancer law should allow and I was starting to get a little concerned with all the weird places that have popped up on my almost 50 year old body!

They don’t play in that office. Before I could pay and get the heck out of dodge, they REMOVED something scary off my lower back and froze multiple whatchamacallits off my hands and arms. Oh, even two spots UNDER MY DANGED ARM! As in, my armpit! Yeowtch! I wasn’t expecting to feel this crummy but in all honesty, I’m grateful it didn’t hurt more and even more thankful that my face is healthy and whole.

If you could see my hands & arms right now you would know why.

So, while I’m on a roll….next stop, DENTIST & GYNECOLOGIST!!!

I’m determined to NOT to let this year kill me! While my mind keeps playing tricks on me to feel stress and worry….I’m trying to be proactive and head off any serious disease or illness that might be lingering in the shadows of my body. Stress can bring on some wing-dingers of sickness and I’m not going down that easy.

list it

I’m thankful to be alive. Aren’t you?

Caught Off Guard

July 13th, 2016

grace will

I’m on day 7 of my new life. On Thursday my hubby came home to give me the news that he’d lost his job. I’d be lying if I told you I handled it with joy and grace. My high strung personality just doesn’t respond like that. I cried. Lost my cool. Wished I knew karate.

Life is like a roller-coaster. One minute you’re up and soaring like an eagle and the next you’re plummeting to the ground at speeds that feel like they’re going to kill you dead. Up down Up down. Twist turn. Slam on the brakes.

Losing a job is painful.

While he explained the details of the event, my mind raced around (surely it’s a wife thing) imagining all the stuff I needed to get rid of in my house…so it could sell before the bank foreclosed on it. Then I moved on to our daughter who is “so close” to graduation and all the hard work she’s put in to getting to this precious destination. Next, our youngest who is dreaming of a wedding in the coming year….how would we ever pay for it without a job? And our son, who’s a thousand miles away reeling in his own job loss.

What are we going to do?

I want you to know that GRACE doesn’t come easy in moments like this. Matter of fact, here on day 7 I’m still searching out my feelings and praying for how to move on minus a rotten attitude.

The flesh is weak and the mind is a battlefield.

I’ve felt pretty much every emotion — I’ve gotten angry, imagined being mocked or ridiculed, wished I could wake up from this bad dream and also felt hopeful. I know God doesn’t miss a thing….and this job loss situation matters to Him just as much as it does to me.

He is in control.

future

I have to trust Him and believe He has a plan. Even as I wrestle with medical issues that are still a mystery and the guilt of buying a “new to me” car.

He isn’t caught off guard. He is God, Jehovah-Jireh!

wonders

Lord,
Forgive me for my tiny faith. Show me how to lean on you when I am afraid. Open the door to the place we belong.
Amen